Triggering (Suicide) - No quality of life

[alienshe_cheesycake]

Just feeling slightly suicidal lately, dunno if this should be in the serious section but it's concerning my mental health so...

Ever since I have been put on my anti-pychotic (Olanzapine)
for the voices in my head I thought that the drug would solve all of my problems and cure my pychosis and generally make me feel great

I started off on 7.5mg of Olanzapine and this has been increased in stages because the voices wern't going away, 10mg, 12.5mg, 15mg, 17.5mg

And now finally I'm actually starting to hear less voices on the dose I'm on now (17.gmg)
(I still hear voices occasionally, I'd say about once/twice a week or so)
but the Olanzapine is turning me into a zombie, all I seem to do is eat and sleep, I have no energy or motivation to do anything
I cannot stress this enough I do nothing all day but sit there like an energy zapped zombie, I'm sleeping over 16 hours a day,

I'm getting thoughts of suicide lately because I just don't know if I want this kind of life

It seems to me like I only have two choices
1. Experience incredibly destressing voices and hallucinations for the rest of my life (or however long this pychosis lasts for)
or
2. Carry on taking my anti-pychotic which is only finally doing it's job on quite a high dose but experience a total lack of quality of life
I don't know if I want to live like this anymore
but It seems like I have very little choice , either be a zombie with no life
or live a life of fear and distress

Argh this is a stupid post, just feel scared of having to live like this for the rest of my life, I don't know if i can do it, and all I keep thinking about is suicide

[Stellata]

Not a stupid post.

You know, voices are often a manifestation of deep unconscious conflicts, and therefore medications won't and indeed can't eradicate them. Which is where decent psychotherapy comes in.
Working through what's happening in your mind can hopefully enable you to reduce the dose of your medication so that you can feel more safely alive and less sedated. Understanding rather than silencing what's happening in your mind.

[I got stripes]

Sorry to hear olanzapine is having that effect on you, what about option 3: try a different antipsychotic? olanzapine is known for being sedating, but others (such as abilify which I'm on) have much less sedation.

[whirlpools]

^ very good responses! i agree a lot with this. takes a long time to do that work but a combination of psychotherapy and medication can really zap those voices.

have you tried other meds? risperidone, quetiapine, or maybe abilify? when i was on risperidone and quetiapine, they really knocked me out. but olanzapine, for me, has been a bit better. so i suppose each med is different for everyone.

the sleeping and eating with olanzapine is awful, i find this too. but maybe once you've been on your current dose for a while, the side effects will start to wear off. i found this with the drowsiness. xxx

[alienshe_cheesycake]

Thanks for the replies!

I was under the impression from my pychiatrist that she was going to try to increase my meds until the voices go away completely
so god knows what kind of dose I could end up on, I mean the voices still haven't gone away completely and I'm totally doped up on the dose I'm on now, so god knows how much worse it could get (is all i can think)

I've been on this dose for about 2 weeks now and It doesn't seem to be wearing off at all (the sedation)
and I'm just fed up of being a zombie all the time
but I'm scared to tell anybody this incase they reduce my dosage and the voices get worse, it seems like whatever I do I'm ****ed when I look at it sometimes


I'm due to see a pycholigist from the Early Intervention Team soon so hopefully that might help
(in a minute actually!)

[Stellata]

All the best with the appointment - it sounds like just the help you need right now.

[Diamonds.]

Oh noes. Sorry jess =(. Never there when you need me. Don't you dare leave me. I love you. Your my little pudding egg. We gunna meet soon you have to stay here for me.

Iloveyou.Imissyou.Yourmine. <3

[alienshe_cheesycake]

aww thanks rebecca, your a total darling do you know that? :-P

Don't get to see my pych for a few weeks , argh! so tired (nothing new there then)