Triggering (Substance Abuse) - .mentions amputation/ SI/ OD
since valentines day (what a great day to pick >.< ), i went outside to ge the axe. I had just moment before slit my wrist for two reasons,
a) if i didnt succeed with the axe iw oulod bleed out {i mad3 sure i cut thru a major vein> I passed out before i found the axe (thakgodf).
Police came and ambul;ance too of coursed,,,abyways tri make htis sghrter.....I was give n a morphinr drip and by the i had woke up Clearly/lucid wqas several days laster ( i also took an major OD, 'just in case....anywyas i was given th meorphine drip and when i awle it was enery 8 minites i could have some...i broke my shouder very badly, like bone stickingh out and swollen, baly {due to such low weight]Well i was given a medication to take e vert 4 hours 'as needed'. Well last docs a[ppt, some time this week, dont remember...i admitted to him that i *think*, hell I KNEW, i was using when i did NOT need to.
So adfmitted to him and got the dose cut in half.....and im oing thjru WD hell. I found one ans took iot...the full, previos dose/
I a, mer certahjn i am addied to it...
i CRAVE it, F**cvk i NEED it....of callinmg doc fot a wa;kl appt.
and lie top him and tell him i over did iyt wothj erxercising thje ar3n and i am talking teo of hjr half doses at a time...or that i fell opn it [hr knows i ahve blacck outys]
OH but this is SUCH a bad idea...but i *think * im goung to tru
p;ease, if you cioylod spend jsy a moment to send good kluck, prayers/vibes...just ANYTHING
Im going to trty to be honest and adnit, I AM NOT safe , zzt akkkromo p z i did not mention th na,e d nane if drugl
Please ring for help now. It sounds as if you are in a very, very bad place and from your post, very unsafe too.
Thinking of you, I'm sorry I haven't been able to add more,
x
Last edited by Tig : 19-07-2008 at 01:39 PM.
Reason: Rephrased something
Heya honey, I don't know you, but.. Please take care of yourself.. It may be a very, very good idea to phone the crisis team or go to the hospital, anything to make sure that you're safe.. Is there anyone like a therapist or counsellor you can talk to?
You really ought to talk to someone, even if it's a phone conversation.. You sound like you're in a really dark and unsafe place at the mopment, so please, find someone to be with or talk to, just to make sure that you are safe
thinking of you
xxKirstenxx
Allie, I'll never forget you..
Love You Always.
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the things which you think you cannot do.
*hugs you*
Romp, you know you can come talk to me any time.
*hugs you some more*
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
