Triggering (SI/OD) - help

[Bambi]

i just dont know what to do i cant carryon anymore everytime one problem or thing gets sorted out something worse comes along. and my si and my sh has gotten dreadfully worse. i mean ive cut 10times today iam having to cut and si just to get through each day. suicide seems the only way out right now. and i tried doing some stuff today but iam such a coward and such a failure that i just could not bring myself to go through with it. and now iam mad at myself and feel guilty for not being able to go through it. that i ve just cut myself to punish myself for not being able to go through with it. i mean how can i be so stupid not to be able to go through with it. iam in the darkest place i have ever been in right now and its just getting darker. iam walking down this long dark tunnel which is just getting darker with no hope of ever being able to the light at the end.

[Cazki]

Hey Nancy *Hugs you* Im sorry that your si and sh have got worse. I know that suicide may seem the only way out but please dont end your life. There are so many members here at ryl aswell as other people around you that care about you they would all be truly devastated if anything happened to you. I understand that your struggling and that you dont see any light at the end of the tunnel (believe me i know what thats like) but suicide isnt the answer.

I have been suicisdal myself many times in the past and in the end i couldnt cope with the fact that people would have been blaming themselves if something had happened to me when in fact it would have been my own actions so it wouldnt have been there fault at all. If something happened to you i have no doubt that people wouldnt blame themselves. Do you have any support at all? Could you explain to us what it was that you couldnt bring yourself to do? Your not a failure your, having a really difficult time but we will get you through this. Please keep talking to us.

Take care best wishes Ian xxxxxxxx

[xxhappydaysxx]

Hey love,
Are you getting any support right now? Would it be possible to reach out to your doctor and ask for some help? It seems everything is very hard right now, and that is not your fault and you deserve help to get through this dark time.

There is hope hun. Things may seem hopeless now but they can always get better! Suicide is not the answer. You can get thru this without that, there are other ways of coping although it may seem hard right now. You are not stupid. You are strong for being here fighting it.

Take care hun, hold on
xx

[Bambi]

thanks guys. your support and encouragement mean so much to me right now. iam just A totaly stupid failure and its not worth me fighting anymore its not worth it iam not worth it. nothing in my life is going right. nothing ever goes right for me anymore to be honest. iam just usless. i wish i could see a point in carrying on a point in continuing to fight but there isn't one. iam just so meanigless and so is my sade stupid mundane life. i just wish i knew what to do. suicide is so tempting and so easy right now. i just dont know what to do. i just carnt cope. i just wish i wasn't such a stupid pathetic useless worthless failure. i just dont know what to do anymore.

[Cazki]

Please dont put yourself down like that you are not worthless, useless or a failure. Please dont end it. Have you ever tried contacting the Samaritans? They are excellent and can be contacted by phone, email or text. You could also contact the supporters here at ryl. If you would like the link please let me know and i will give it to you? You are worth it.

Take care best wishes Ian xxxxxx

[Bambi]

i really want help its just that i dont think that i can be helped iam dont even think i deserve to be helped. iam just at a dead end i just dont know what to do every day is such a struggle. iam just fighting a loosing battle. a battle i know that i will never win. i dont even know if i will ever win this loosing battle that iam trying to fight. iam so scared of wining this battle that iam trying to fight. i dont even know if i want to win it things are just so dark right know iam trying so hard to fight but i have got know fight left in me. i just wish i knew what to do