i don't come here often, in fact i've been on this site three times. maybe i should have given it a chance, you all seem so helpful and caring. i've crashed though. this is it, this is the end.
too many times i've picked myself up and dusted myself down. im just your average girl really, well, you think im just your average girl. ive got secrets that no one should have to hide. secrets no one should ever have to know. i tried to escape my past life, i moved to england but the past never leaves, it haunts me to this very day. the screams, the crying, the blood.
im scared of living, im scared of life. im currently slashing my wrists and overdosing. i need to be free of this almighty pain. i want to stop breathing, i want to stop thinking, i want my heart to stop beating. i want every ounce of life dragged out of me and thrown out for the trash. i want my broken body to fall lifelessly to the ground, and i want NO ONE to save me.
life is a lie. my whole life as been a lie. i thought i was someone im not. i thought i was an average kid...guess im wrong again. i NEED to die.
Wherever you go I will be waiting, whenever you call I will be there, whatever it takes I'll make you're darkest days move on, you're in my heart tonight...
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
Please try and calm down ok hun?
You need to go somewhere safe where people can look after you while you're feeling like this. Is there anyone with you who could call an ambulance for you? Do you feel able to do it yourself?
I promise things can and will get better hun, please get yourself somewhere safe.
I know you feel very unsafe right now, but posting this proves there is still a part of you that wants to fight, a part of you that wants to get better. Please try and embrace that side of you right now.
Please get somewhere safe
Xxxx
You see a mouse trap
I see free cheese
And a ****ing challenge
calm down? go somewhere safe? are you being serious? i dont want to be safe, i want it to end. im sick of fighting and pretending to be ok. im sick of hiding my emotions and pretending that im ok, well newsflash IM NOT OK!
im sorry, but i just need to do this
Wherever you go I will be waiting, whenever you call I will be there, whatever it takes I'll make you're darkest days move on, you're in my heart tonight...
You don't have to keep pretending or hiding your emotions, please try and look towards the future hun you won't feel like this forever.
Please reach out to those you know and love like you have reached out to us, there is a part of you which doesn't want this to heppen, please listen to that.
Let someone know how you're feeling sweety, let them look after you and keep you safe. You deserve more than this sweetheart, please let someone know what is going on.
Xxxx
You see a mouse trap
I see free cheese
And a ****ing challenge
sorry, maybe i should just go now. im worthless, can't you see that?! you don't have to know me to know that im pathetic and hated. its in everyones interests that i die, and by doing this - for the first time in my life i'll be making people happy. the ones who casue me so much grief, ill be making happy, so they can finally leave me.
i dont know why i typed this in the first place. what was i trying to achieve by telling all of the people i dont know, how i feel. im not fishing for sympathy, i hate people to crave attention. after thinking, 110% of me now wants me to continue with what im doing to myself. and i dont want help, or sympathy, and i dont want to be safe. i want to die, and be at peace at last. i need go go and i cant control it. thanks for all your posts, but im sorry, take care xx
Wherever you go I will be waiting, whenever you call I will be there, whatever it takes I'll make you're darkest days move on, you're in my heart tonight...
You're not worthless!! you're not pathetic and I for one dont hate you.
Its not in everyones interests!! Really not!!
*Huge hugs* xxxx
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
Wherever you go I will be waiting, whenever you call I will be there, whatever it takes I'll make you're darkest days move on, you're in my heart tonight...
What makes you think this is in everyones interests.
I can assure you it will break your families heart and your friends. There are so many people who love and care about you! Everyone has people who love anmd care for them, it's just hard to see sometimes.
Please think of the people you love and who love you.
Is there anyone in your life you can talk to about this? A friend or family member?
Please don't give up
Xxx
You see a mouse trap
I see free cheese
And a ****ing challenge
