Well, i've left school now for almost a week but I guess that's not to blame, things have been changing for a while. I have a close group of friends, relatively big I guess, 5 girls & 5 guys, including me. A few of them seemed to have changed a lot & some just aren't looking after themselves.
One of my friends, a very intelligent, easy going guy who's just started to smoke. That shocked me. He's been my friend for 11 years & i've never seen that coming, not in a million years.
Then there's another girl friend, she's not looking after herself, not eating or drinking properly, going out with a bit of a scumbag if i'm honest.
Then another girl friend being dragged down by her boyfriend, another one our friends, they always seem to argue & he upsets her.
& now another one of the guys has a got a new girlfriend that hasn't got the best reputation.
I'm in the middle of this going, "OH MY GOD! WTF DO I DO." I've pretty much been the one that everybody in the group comes to with problems, but right now, I can't deal, I just can't. I don't know what to do. If I mention anything I feel like i'll upset them, but if I don't, surely it'll just get worse?
& worst of all, they don't feel like my friends anymore. I feel like I don't fit in. I rarely drink, don't smoke cigarettes or weed like they do & i'm not gunna change to fit in with them. Plus, only one of them knows about the S/H, the rest say the usual insults about people who S/H. If I told them, I don't feel like they'd understand...
I don't want my friends going downhill, but if I try to help them, i'll go downhill. Please, anyone?
You can't lose hope when it's hopeless.
You gotta hope more,
then put your fingers in your ears and go,
"Blah blah blah blah!"
People change, that's just life i'm afraid. You have to let your friends make their own choices and mistakes otherwise they'll never learn anything. All you can do is be there for them.
If you feel like you don't fit in anymore then maybe you've outgrown them?
Like LittleBabyNothing said, people change. You've just left school, which is a large turning point in peoples lives, because it feels like you're not a child anymore and its a big step in growing up. If you don't like what your friends are changing into then perhaps you've just outgrown them and its time to start finding some new friends?
My group of close friends aren't the same of group of friends I had when I was in school. I went to school with one of them, but we never became close until a year a two ago, and now she's my best friend. I don't even talk to my best friends from school, I don't want to.
It takes a while for us to find who we are and who we want in our lives, people come and go until you find the right people who stick about forever, no matter what.
this is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy
Pround Pulmeria Sis :: Feel free to PM me anytime ::Always happy to help!
I can relate to this a lot... You think that you know people really well until they turn around and so something completely out of character, such as smoking or drinking or being a lot more wreckless than normal.
You have to take a step back, I'm afraid, and let them get on with it. If yous are close, then talking to them one to one about it might be an idea, but I don't know if they're the sort that would take it well or get offended. You aren't a miracle worker, you can't change them and you can't solve all problems. Everyone has problems. It's nice to have someone to talk to about it, but you have to look after yourself as well, and it is important not to let them drag you down. Stay strong. Write things down. And find yourself someone to speak to about your problems too. It's not healthy bottling everything up until you're ready to explode!
The change may or may not be temporary... Just...yeah, take a step back, see how things go, but above all look after yourself because you come first.
Thanks everyone, much appreciated. I guess I might have outgrown them, i'm so ready for college, I see it as a new challenge & a new chance while they're all saying, "Oh no, I don't wanna go to college.". Well, i'm out with most of them today, so i'll see how it goes. I guess you learn from your mistakes, & if you never let people make them, they would never learn.
Thank you everyone =)
You can't lose hope when it's hopeless.
You gotta hope more,
then put your fingers in your ears and go,
"Blah blah blah blah!"
i don't think any of what you said means your friends have gone "downhill."
they just seem to be growing up. &maybe doing a few silly things on the way.
i think everyone else said what i would have said, so!
tc.
