Triggering (Suicide) - I need help *urgent*

[livingnotbreathing]

The past month or two months.. or something like that.
I've tried to kill myself multiple times and in the past two months my slef harm has gotten way more severe then it was say 5 months ago.
And I was just released from the hospital again this morning.
And I feel like total crap..
And everything seems to be going so wrong and it's like my mind is one tracked and all I can do is think of ways to try again.
I feel like this time is much more serious then all the others.
I can't control it any more no matter how much pain it puts me in every time I don't succeed for some reason I'm sure I will succeed this time.
And I'm just so scared...
I have access to a lot of dangerous things.
(poor grammar throughout sorry)
I'm so sorry for posting, I really am.
I just...can't do it anymore.
Help
-s

[livingnotbreathing]

I don't know.. lately I've just changed like a lot.
I mean I've always known I;ve had depression and strong feelings and what not but it's never chaanged me so drastically to the point where I am currently going almost manic..I've really lost it.. I'm just so scared "everything" being just family problems I guess and mostly everything going on in my head.
The hospital let me out because I just started weekly sessions with a therapist-person.. thing..
I'm sure my insides are pretty f***ed after all the od'es I've taken especially recently but...
I want to just, not have to deal with anything anymore.

*don't mind my spelling it isn't always this crappy*

[xxhappydaysxx]

Are you able to open up to your therapist about how you are feeling atm? This could help and maybe you could get some more support?

I know what you mean about everything in your head. I have written eeverything down which is going around my head before and this has made things easier for me.

You dont need to be sorry for posting, thats what were here for.
take care xx

[sparkle.]

I don't know what I can add, sorry, but as suggested above - perhaps write everything down? Then you could just burn it...or bury it if you like, just get rid of it and see if it helps at all,

take care, be safe xxx

[B-S-F]

*hugs* & *hugs* & *More hugs*
PM me if you want to talk!
Thinking of you, take care of yourself, PLEASE!!
xxx