Okay, well the thing is i will sit in a room by myself, but i will feel like im not alone. I will be sure there is someone else in the room with me, even though there isnt. Its like i dont trust my eyes, i feel like im not seeing someone who is really there. Sorry if this doesnt make sense. Does anyone else experience this?
Thanks for your reply. I am being treated for psychosis. So do you think there could be a link with being psychotic and having this experience?
And i do feel quite lonely, as i seem to withdraw myself from others. So yeah, thats probably my own fault really.
I've never really thought about looking at it like that. That could be the reason. But im not sure if its something to do with my paranoia, because i constantly feel like im being watched. And i just seem to question my surroundings a lot, wandering if what im experiencing is real or in my head. I get so confused.
Im with the Early Intervention Team, so i see some people from there during the week. I have a psychologist, CPN, and psychiatrist. I am getting quite a bit of support. But sometimes, i just cant speak verbally, as my thoughts get blocked.
You need to talk to them about this. It just doesn't seem right to me. I felt like that when i first developed schizophrenia. My people didnt show up at first, they just felt like a presence.
xxx
thank you, Lily, for saving mummy's life*.
You are my one and only, you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight, and you'll be alright.
Yeah, it is kinda worrying me. I havent told anyone on my team, that i feel like people are there when there really isnt even though i cant see them. Sorry if that dont make sense. But its just horrible. I am worried i may have schizophrenia, as i have had psychosis for the last 2 years on and off.
You know im always here if you need to talk. My schizophrenia is really scary, and this all must be scary for you. So don't battle it alone. Please do try and tell someone.
Im here for you.
xx
thank you, Lily, for saving mummy's life*.
You are my one and only, you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight, and you'll be alright.
Thanks Rebecca, its nice to know i have your support =) And im sorry you're struggling with a similar problem. And yes it is really frightening. But at least i know im not alone with this feeling.
Thanks Rebecca. Im just worried this is never going to stop. I have only just recently (within in the last month) been with the Early Intervention Team, which treats First Episode of Psychosis, but the thing is i dont think this is my first episode, as i have been experiencing psychotic symptoms for the last couple of years. Im worrying theyve left it too long, and i just dont think i could cope if i have to deal with this for life.
Thanks for your support Rebecca and im sorry for my negative attitude. Im glad you're coping. Im just worrying because my meds may be being reduced, as am on the maximum dose, and i dunno if im ready.
I tend to think that there are people following me down the street even though I can't see anybody, it's just when I turn around I get the feeling that there is somebody there even tho I can't see them
I'm being treated for pychosis by the early intervention team too and I tend to have paranoid delusions about people following me and watching me, so I can sypathise with you, pychosis and like stuff can be ****ing scary and horrible, I keep on asking my team when my pychosis is going to go away but they can't tell me
*hugs* hang in there
"In the driest whitest stretch of pains infinate desert, I lost my sanity, and found this rose"
Thanks for the reply jess_alienshe_cheesycake. I also am afraid and convinced im being watched and followed, and think there are cameras everywhere. I feel like im trapped in a really dark world, and am not really in the "real world" at all. I agree with you that psychosis is really frightening. Thanks for the hug. I hope we get better soon.
This experience is happening everyday of being convinced there is someone there who i cant see. Im scared. Why is this happening?
i get the thing with the cameras everywhere too. even in ordinary air.
i'm not sure what i was saying, i guess i can just say that i relate. i'm not sure that helps, wish i could say more to help :S i used to experience thinking that people i knew, like doctors or friends were watching me from behind walls. i also sometimes experience dead spirits around my body, i can't usually see them though. also sometimes poltergeists, and corpses that live in furniture or outside the door.
it is scary and i'm not sure why it happens. maybe it links with experiences from the past? childhood fears or bad things that happened. that might be what it is for me, maybe for you too?
i just hope things get easier for you soon. t'is hard, scary, tiring work, i know. *hugs* xxx
Thanks for the reply whirlpools. Im sorry that you experience these things too.
Ive not thought that it could be due to past experiences, but you could be right.
Its just when im talking about someone, i am scared they are actually there next to me and can hear what im saying, and theyll hate me for it. It is hard for me to see that there is no-one there because i can feel their presence. Am i making any sense?
People misuse the word "psychotic" and think its funny to talk about psychosis/being crazy, but its so so scary when you're really psychotic, and unwell. I just get sensitive about the subject. Does anyone else?
