On the phone with my guidance counselor. But that's not the point.
I have pretty badd social anxiety and depression, so a couple of months ao, I went into inpatient treatment on suicide watch. I was taken out of school, and did shcooling there, but you know what I just figured out. I wasn't withdrawn from school the day i went, so for everyday before they withdrew me, I got zeros in every class. We just now figured it out, and so I just realized that I might not be able to go into the tenth grade. And the ninth grade was SOOOOO hard for me the first time around... I can't do it a second time.
Sometimes, I just wished I'd gotten away with killing myself. Because my intent wasn't to survive this long. I SHOULD be dead... but I'm not. But I'm not doing ninth grade again. My grades were great before I left and in inpatient treatment, I did exceptional too. But I was punished because I felt bad about myself and wanted some help. I was punished, because I chose getting help over killing myself. Is this some kind of sign that I made the wrong choice?
Last edited by Namaste : 09-07-2008 at 04:53 PM.
Reason: can't spell...
Absolutely not! It is a sign that your school system needs some work. You are not being punished for getting the help that you need. Try talking to the school. Be very honest, tell them all the details (well, the reasonable ones) and I'm sure they'll understand. It's not fair to hold you back because of your mental health. Good luck and don't read too much into this school thing.
Yeah, well, I mean, I thought I made the right choice. I still do, really. But yeah it is unfair, and I don't know how to talk to these people myself. My mom has called everyone, and explained, but lucky me, no one gives a crap. But I don't care what they do, if I'm held back, I am not going. I did it once, and they have no idea how hard just doing normal things like that is for me. I mena the first time, it almost pushed me over the edge, who's to say it won't happen again? We don't have enough money to send me back to inpatient, so what would happen to me? I don't want to die... but sometimes I get in these situations where it feels like the only way out...
Yeah, idk... I'll definitely talk to my doctor about it, but I'm not sure if there is much he can do.
It just makes me so freakin' mad. And on top of it all my mom said the counselor sounding all condescending. He probably though I'd been on drugs and been sent to the inpatient treatment center, because I went to the same place all the druggies go. But still, I'm really frustrated...
That's not fair at all!
I think, the best thing to do is to get your doctor to have a word with your school about this. Your school should listen to your doctor more than anyone else.
You made the right choice going into inpatient treatment, and this should not be happening. I really hope it gets sorted out for you.
