I think the time has come

[The One Who]

I think it might be time for me to go to the doctor again and see about getting anti-depressants. After a long talk with a friend he has convinced me that I really should go and that I can't keep going on how I am at the moment.

But I don't like doctors, I don't trust them. The ones at my local surgery aren't very nice. After being forced to see one about passing out all the time I was told that I'll have to learn to live with it. The only nice doctor is the father of someone I went to school with. He knows who I am. I know they can't talk about me but I don't trust him.

I'm terrified of pills. I always get bad side effects, no matter what the drug is. I can't even take aspirin without feeling sick! I'm so scared that these will give me worse side effects.

I don't even know what I would say when I go. What would I say? What questions would I ask him?

I really don't want to do counselling again. I struggle enough to talk to my best friend about stuff, never mind some random who is getting paid to listen to me.

[shadowedseraph]

Have you thought about registering at another gp in the local area? Hopefully you'll get on better with the doctors there, thats what i did!

[anonyone30]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadowedseraph

Have you thought about registering at another gp in the local area? Hopefully you'll get on better with the doctors there, thats what i did!

I also changed doctors because my surgery lacked understanding, and I couldn't get an urgent appointment, it was a good move.

[The One Who]

My town has two GP surgeries, the one I'm at is the lesser of two evils. The other one is owned/managed/whatever by a neighbour and his wife works there! So the one I'm at is the best one for me. Unfortunately.

I didn't think you could move surgeries if there was one nearer to you, like if I went to one outside of my town. Or maybe it's you can't be registered at two at the same time. I don't really know.

[*Fading_existence*]

hey sweetie

Technically you are ment to be at the nearest one, but ive just moved home and said i didnt want to switch so i have put down my friends address to remain at the one i feel safe at to avoid changing, so maybe if you have a friend nearer to a different surgery you could register under their address.

Would your friend be prepared to come with you? or maybe write a letter about how you feel? if its a nice doctor just maybe start with something like "im feeling really low and my mood doesnt change much, im struggling with sleep... for example and then let your doctor guide the convo.

Hope it goes well for you sweetie xx

[The One Who]

Thanks for the suggestions, guys.

CRL, therapy being different from counselling? I won't be able to get an appointment until the end of July because I want a specific doctor, don't you just love the NHS. I'll go up tomorrow and see what I can do.

Hmm, I don't think I know anyone who lives near a surgery close enough for me to get to that isn't mine. I'll be OK with the doctor I saw last time. Just a bit concerned about who he is. If I didn't know him he'd be great.

My friend is going to come with me, as long as he's not working. But it should be fine. I don't know whether to bring him in with me or not. Might be really embarrassing.

Thanks for giving me an idea on how to start. I can never tell doctors what's wrong. I always stumble and sit there going "er.. um.. yeah.. um.. I.."

[*Fading_existence*]

hun i know its scary- i didnt take a friend when i first went but the times after i have and she speaks for me sometimes and this friend of yours sounds ace, so im sure he will do whatever he can to help you.

Ok well give it a go at the one you belong to now *hugs* remember they if you are 18 or over you are an adult so they legally cant tell anyone anything. Doctors are usually understanding as they know how difficult it can be so just go at your own pace and dont let anyone rush you. But they are breaking the law if they said anything to anyone.

Yeah i was the same so i started writing him letters, as i was shaking the first time i told him. If you like i could pm you a letter to see what i said if it may help you and ease your worry about talking about everything.

[The One Who]

I didn't like counselling because I never felt comfortable talking to someone I didn't know. They are getting paid to listen (and not even offer much advice, just listen) so why should they really care? I'm bad enough talking to my friends. One time I spent six hours, yes, hours trying to tell my friend one sentence. Would the doctor tell me of these other things, or would I have to ask about them? And I assume there is a very long waiting list?

Last time I went to a private counsellor who also works for the NHS. I thought that if I spent my own money on it I'd be more inclined to actually talk and get something out of it. Never really worked like that.

I'll take my friend in then, hopefully he'd pipe up if he saw I wasn't capable of answering. Doctors can't say anything to anyone if you SH, can they? I'm so clueless when it comes to doctors. I'm 19 so no need to worry about them telling the parents.

FE, that would be so kind of you if you could. Just so I have something to go on and don't just sit there.

Thanks.

[*Fading_existence*]

Okies no worries i shall do that shortly :)

Yeah if you explain to your friend your nervous and if you get scared could they mention things for you.

No they cant say anything about sh -basically my doctor said you know it could get infected and stuff and he/she may ask about how bad you do it etc but they wont tell anyone - as long as your safe about it and assure them of that they should be fine and they cant tell anyone.

[The One Who]

I've never really thought about it like that. I might give it another go if the doctor can made a good case for it, or if there is nothing else offered to me.

Thank God, I always wondered if they'd tell someone about it. Yeah, I'm pretty safe with it, so it's fine. I take it I should tell him about it? Or should that wait until another time? Just tell him everything in the one go?

[*Fading_existence*]

I have pm'd you, i told mine straight away but its how you feel at the time and whether your comfortable enough because it has to be right but crazy rabbit lady is right the more you tell the more they can help.

If your nervous you can always ask them to clarify what they can/cant do with the info that you give them

[The One Who]

OK, thank you again!

I'll try writing stuff down and take it with me just in case. I find it really hard to say that i SH out loud, so maybe writing it down would be easier. I find it even harder to say why I do it. Writing that might not be any easier. But I shall try.

[The One Who]

Ooooh, that's a good idea! Then you can tell me if it sounds stupid or not. I'll try typing something later and then put it up.

[*Fading_existence*]

cool, well done sweetie your being really brave and strong *huggles*

[The One Who]

So I failed miserably at writing a letter, but I do have a list of things:

Feeling almost constantly down
Often tearful
Withdrawn from sports that I used to enjoy
Started SH which has been getting worse
Loss of appetite and subsequent loss of weight
Self confidence issues (but these have existed for a long, long time)
Lost motivation in university work so it was suffering all last year
Struggle to focus, sometimes I just sit and cry
Struggle to motivate myself to see friends and do everyday activities
Tried private counselling, but don't think it helped any. Possible due to difficulties with talking to people and trust issues

I'm sure there are probably more, but that's what I came up with. I'd start off by telling the doctor that I think I'm suffering from depression.

I have this thing where I get terrified when I see certain people. Mostly people from my past. But I don't think the doctor could do anything about that. That would be more of a therapy thing I expect.

[shadowedseraph]

A list is just as good as a letter i write lists all the time

[*Fading_existence*]

Thats good hun, well done on writing these things down, remember the doctor is there to help you and wont judge.

[The One Who]

Do I need to tell him why I am the way I am now? The truth? Or will the lie I tell everyone else do? If my friend is there with me I don't think I can tell him the truth.

[*Fading_existence*]

hun please be brave and tell the truth thats the only way they can really really help you

[The One Who]

Well I can tell him about my brother's death but not what happened. Not the truth. I actually can't voice it. And I can say how it's partly my fault and I blame myself for it and my parents blame me for it. But how exactly I can't say either.