Triggering (Suicide) - Please read- you can't even begin to know how much it would mean for me to get even just one reply.
Hey everyone, I haven't posted in a while. I could really do with any kind of support going. I am just totally at the end of my teather. I don't know what to do with myself. I have an appointment on tuesday, But I don't want to go. Last time the Psychiatrist asked me to describe somthing. I started to describe it and she stopped me and asked me to try again without being over the top. And told me that what I'm going through is only mild. I know she's a professional and knows what she's talking about, but I felt completely belittled and trivialised. She completely destroyed any hope of getting her to believe me, let alone understand. Next time I go I have to make a descision about whether I want more CBT, go on a different medication called Venlafaxine, Be prescribed Diazepam or betablockers, or go to a day patient unit called Riverside. I don't know what I want. Me education is really important to me but I just can't do it at the moment. I think that becoming a day patient would really screw with my education. I just feel so low. My Dad spent all morning lecturing me telling me that i'm selfish and that i'm not helping myself and that i'm ungreateful. I just feel that there's nothing left. I have all my plans in place, it only remain to execute them. But that's that hardest part. I'm really scared. And lonely. and desperate and I don't know what to do with myself. Any advice or support would be so appreciared. You can't even begin to know how much.
Hey,
I can tell you're really overwhelmed right now and you don't know what the best course of action would be to help you through this. Mental health services and medications can be really confusing especially when you're not in your right mind to start with.
From reading your post I think that you should go for CBT as it sounds like you need some talking therapy as people don't seem to listen to you and CBT is a safe place to get everything out and to change your thinking patterns. Also perhaps try the new medication. I don't know much about Diazepam or Betablockers or your reasons for needing them but I believe that they are quite addictive. However antidepressants with therapy can be an effective combination. Focus on your education to distract you and to have something to aim towards. I think that is a really positive thing and helped me to a degree. However don't put too much pressure on yourself. You just have to take babysteps in the right direction and you're already doing that by getting help.
Also if you feel belittled or whatnot don't be afraid to stick up for yourself and if needs be see if you can get a referral to a different psychiatrist.
Take care
x x x x
What doesn't kill you can only **** you up for a really really long time...
*huggles*
i agree with jessye that maybe having CBT would be best, i think i remember you saying that you wanted it at some point, or maybe im making it up?
either way it might help you a hell of a lot so its worth a try?
i know things are hard for you right now but please keep fighting you are an amazing person and deserve to be happy, please dont let your psych get to you because she is obviously stupid lol.
text me anytime if you wanna talk
*hugs more*
trina xxx
'the pain you feel is real,
you're not asleep,
but its a nightmare,
but you cant wake up anytime.'
If what you're going through was truly 'mild' would it mean that they'd offer so many options for support?
And, remember, that mild doesn't mean not serious or upsetting. You're clearly facing some serious issues that need professional support.
It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of anxiety - how does this effect you?
I read your post, dont have any advice but am here if you want to talk. Feel free to PM me. xx
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
I can relate to most of what you are saying. I understand it's a hard time in your life, but you just have to have hope that it will get better. I'm here anytime and you can message me. You'll be in my prayers.
i can't believe your treatment team aren't taking you seriously!
stand your ground *hugs* you deserve the help you need
i'm sorry things aren't good at the moment,
please hold on, look after yourself,
Thanks guys. I am think about the CBT option, but I have already had one lot that lasted a year! Which I believe is a long time. Thanks for the hugs. I feel much less alone now. I didn't think I would. but I do. I'm desperately trying to stay hopeful. My Psychiatrist is foreign and hasn't grasped the English language, so I am wondering if she just said the wrong phrase and I took it badly. Maybe I should give her the benifit of the doubt, after all this whole thing is only going to have any impact if I work with her rather than against her. However, I do think I need to tell her how she left me feeling last time. What do you think?
Thanks for the replies. I really really appreciate them. It really boosted me.
yeah that could be a good idea because then she will realise how much what she said upset you and she may be a bit more careful about what she says in the future.
and also well done for trying to stay positive, you are so strong and i know you can get through all this shitty stuff!
*hugs*
xxx
'the pain you feel is real,
you're not asleep,
but its a nightmare,
but you cant wake up anytime.'
can't really give any helpful advice just wanted you to know that I read your post and I'm here to listen if you need anyone, or If you need a chat if you feel lonely, feel free to PM me *hugs*
xxxxxxxx
"In the driest whitest stretch of pains infinate desert, I lost my sanity, and found this rose"
In my mind if you're feeling that bad about somethng then it's not mild. Everyone reacts in different ways to things so how someone can say your reaction was over the top is a mystery to me.
Just cuz CBT didn' work for you last time doesn't mean it won't now. Maybe you weren't quite ready to work through things before??
The main thing is don't give up. Keep fighting, we're all behind you
love
laura
my friends all say I'm crazy,
maybe I'm being selfish, maybe I'm just scared
don't be gone when I get home...I need you there
if I had to explain it I wouldn't know were to start
it's like you're falling in love, while I just fall apart
