Trying to Find The Courage to Go Back.

[Alyssa!]

So, I started going to NA. I've been to exactly three meetings. My first one was OK but small. The second one had more people there and was actually quite a moving experience. The third one was a nightmare. The third meeting I attended was on a Saturday. Notoriously few people show up at Saturday meetings. The weekday ones have twice as many people. I was there for a bit when a guy showed up. He and I talked for awhile getting to know each other and trying to suss out what to do since no one else was showing up. I finally said that I didn't know what he was going to do, but I was going for a cigarette. I went outside for a cigarette and to see if anyone else showed up. The whole time out there, he kept telling me I could sit in his car because it was more comfortable than standing. We went back inside a bit later to see if anyone showed up. I was like "Well, what are you going to do?" He says something to the effect of "We could get smashed and have sex." At this point he's got the door mostly shut. I opened the door and said "I'm out of here. I've got a boyfriend waiting for me." That scared the bejeezus out of me. I've done some unsavory things in my time in order to get what I want. However, now that I'm clean and sober (for almost a month now!) that offer just repulsed me and made me feel unsafe going to meetings. My boyfriend said from now on when I go to meetings, I need to go with one of my friends. And, if no one can go with me, I need to call three people before I go, tell them where I'm going, and call them when I get out of the meeting.
I'm just really scared to go to a meeting now. I know one creep shouldn't deter me for good, but....it was scary. My buddy wanted me to go to a meeting with him on Monday and I'm thinking about it. I'm not sure though. I'm still apprehensive.
Any advice?

[blondiebear]

If you trust this buddy, do go with him. That time was just one guy. If it is an open meeting, would your bf go with you?

I go to four AA meetings a week. I see my sponsor at three of them. One of the meetings is in the evening, mixed, and about 75% men. So I treat the ones a generation older than me like uncles. And the one my age like nice aquaintences. I know I can hide behind an uncle too if I need to, if that makes sense.

Like that meeting is at a teacher's lounge at a church school. At the table next to my preferred table, there were a bunch of guys, kinda rowdy. One of my honorary uncles sat between me and them. He just said that was an empty seat but I still appreciated it.

So, to make a long story even longer, go to the meeting with your buddy. Talk to people to find good meetings with people with lots of time clean. Meetings with lots of women there too.

I've been sober for a while. The poisons that you and I used are different, the underlying dis-ease is the same. PM me any time!