I just started antidepressants(prozac)the other day and I feel so crap right now...
I just want to cut....but Im trying to stop...
My mum is driving me crazy...she doesnt know that I SI but she is going to find out coz my sister is getting married and my mum got me this really nice strapless dress before i started to cut my arms....she is going to see my scars....
Firstly this post isn't pointless, neither is what your saying, if it was pointless you wouldn't be thinking it or posting about it, would you?
Prozac takes a good few weeks to get working, try to give it time, keep taking them & in time you will see a difference.
Why do you feel so crap right now? Is there anything thats triggered this?
Its inspiring to see your trying your best to stop cutting, I'm really proud of you, just making that descion shows imense strength & courage.
Why do you want to cut now? What would that achieve in the long run?
You say you don't want your mum seeing your scars, wouldn't cutting now make even more scars for you to hide?
Weddings are lovely! You shouldn't have to worry about something like scars on such a speical day. Perhaps you could a nice shawl or some sort of cover up to go over your dress?
If your mum does find out, maybe its not such a terrible thing? Usualy when we think something bads going to happen, our imagnations make things seem 10 times worse than what would really happen. After all whats the worst that could happen? Remember the worst hardly ever happens.
If your mum found out, she could support you, yes she'd be upset at first but she'd get over it & learn ways to help you through this. Are you reciving any help with your SI right now?
The antidepressants will take a while to kick in and they can have nasty side effects which make you feel crap for a few days. Do try and stick with them because they do need a chance to work and your body will need to adjust to them. Is your doctor monitoring you? I suggest if you gte any more distressing thoughts than normal that you go back asap.
As for the situation with your mum, I understand how difficult it is. I know this probably isnt much help but if it is inevitable she is going to find out, perhaps it is best to bite the bullet and tell her yourself. It would sound much better coming from you. She may be a little shocked and upset at first but she is your mum and she'll still love you. She may act angrily at first, but the anger is just an expression of fear from not knowing how to help you and also because its very sad to seen someone you care for harming themself. Other things you could try are applying vitamin E products to your scars, or getting some opera style gloves to go with your dress.
Im sorry Im a bit useless with the help tonight. xx
Thanks....I think the reason Im so triggered right now is coz of my mum....
the first few days after I told her she was very understanding now she is just acting like coz she gave me some vitamin tablets that Im all fixed and that there is no point in taking antidepressants....she thinks that she knows more than the doctor....
And she said she wouldnt tell anyone but I know she has told loads of people...
Could you have a chat with your doctor and get him to talk with your mum on your behalf? My mum didnt know how to deal with my anorexia and she was going about it in totally the wrong way, which in turn was making me more upset and feeding my depression. So I told my GP and she spoke to my mum and explained in the nicest way possible that her approach was making things worse for me. Things improved dramatically after that. Another thing you could try is researching some good books and websites which give information about how it is to have depression and get her to read those.
like the others say its not a pointless post at all. i started fluoxetine (prozac) on friday( after BAD side effects from another one) so really do know how you feeling at the mo. it says in the leaflet that it can take bout 2-4wks to feel the positive effects of the drug and can make the urge to sh worse in the 1st couple of wks. but give it a go, you never know could be the best thing you ever done :)
as for the wedding hmmmmm, does your sis know? maybe could speak to her if she does about wearing a pretty short sleeved cardi or a pashmina?
do you have time to try and find some camoflage make-up like dermablend so you wouldnt have to worry about the scars??
sending kisses and cuddles xxx holly xxx
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!!
Im just gonna buy a cardigan to cover them up.....
Now everything is so strange....
Before I had something look forward to-going to the doctor to get help...
Since then everything seems so hopeless...
And this sounds so stupid but the only thing that is keeping me going is knowing that if I die now I wont get to find out what happens on the next series of my favourite tv programmes...which is so pathetic...
thats not pathetic, its a reason to keep living and stay strong :) we all need things like that. Mine atm is that my hamster is very ill and without him who would hand feed him? who would be with him when he takes his last breath?
We all need little things to keep us going
I just started antidepressants(prozac)the other day and I feel so crap right now...
I am currently on Prozac too, and IMO it makes me feels me feel worse.
*hugs*
Maybe you should talk to your doctor about how you are feeling and see if they can put you on something else... just a suggestion
We're all in the same game;
Just different levels.
Dealing with the same hell;
Just different demons.
Im sure your doctor does like you. Its just your evilness twisting it for you. He would much, much rather you went back to him than ended up hurting yourself badly. And if you're not comfortable with him or concerned her doesnt like you ( which Im sure is just your illness affecting your perception), why not see another doctor? Its very important you get a doctor you feel content with calling on for support at any time and it doesnt always hapen straight away. I saw about 6 psychiatrists before finally getting my current one who is lovely!
if it helps for the mo, dont read other posts or non with a trig warning so you can protect yourself for a bit until you feel more able to cope with them :) x
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!!
If your mom doesn't like you taking pills, maybe you can explain it to her the way my doctor explained it to my dad when I started prozac. Depression and anxiety dissorders are like a cronic kidney infection, you have to keep taking the pills or it will come back. Mental dissorders are just like an infection, but it's in your brain where people can't see it.
There's nothing to be ashamed of with your scars. I never cover mine on purpose, no matter where I'm going, because they aren't something that I'm ashamed of or shy about. Cutting is becoming more and more common (unfortunatly...) and more and more people are understanding about it. You might actually be suprised how interested people become in you (not that you should ever do it for attention, because that's just plain stupid). I know quite a few people that I didn't know very well who always wanted to know how I was doing after they saw my scars. If you really do need to cover them though, and the cardagin doesn't work out (if your mom won't let you wear it or whatever) find a foundation that matches your skin and cover them with makeup. Unless you're as pale as I am and there's no makeup that matches your skin :) In that case, just don't worry about it. I think scars are beautiful, they tell a story and can remind you of how far you've come.
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!! 
