You asked me this a few days ago.
I've been thinking about it.
I don't know if I ever have felt alive, I've never felt like anything is real or living.
Maybe, it's just me but I really can't think of a time when I felt 'alive'.
If we fall,
we don't need self recrimination or blame or anger -
I only ever feel alive when i sh makes me feel human again. So 2 days ago now.
RYL Family
Rhapsodyinblue is my business partner
Avalanche is my best friend, Dancing Loony is my Niece
Queer Fringe is my god-daughter Hollz is my big sis, , Rainey is my sister,
I feel alive when I feel connected with myself and other people. Like when my therapist supports me back to myself again, and when I'm chatting with colleagues at work, or I manage to help a customer at work and they're grateful. I also feel alive when I have a creative focus and inspiration to carry that.
The last time I truly felt 'alive' (meaning 'happy') was in January this year. This was a time I remember laughing with friends, having a really fun time...
Now all I can see is depression, blood and cutting.
:(
"How can I be a gynecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!"
♥
I don't know if I feel alive, but in a way I feel not "out-of-it" when I'm in the NICU holding the babies. When I can sooth them and make them stop crying just by talking and holding/rocking them the right way.
I feel more or less alive when I'm do trampoline.
When I'm cutting.
It's the children the world almost breaks that grow up to save it.
-Frank Warren
The last time I felt alive when I was at my prom, June 25th.
I was with people I love, I was having fun and I wasn't worrying about anything.
Maybe we should do more things that make us feel alive. As long as they aren't things that can damage us.
I don't know... I think maybe when I talked to one of my best friends on the phone a few days ago. He's like a brother to me, and it meant so much to hear his voice.
July 18, 2007.
That's the night my ex-boyfriend and I got together.
I haven't felt any kind of love like I did back then.
I'm dead inside; numb if you will.
The only thing that keeps me feeling is anxiety.
I hate living sometimes.
Never regret.
If it's good, it's wonderful.
If it's bad, it's experience.
I don't remember the date, but it was raining, and for a moment, there were only two people in the world, me and the boy whose lips seem to mold perfectly to mine.