Now, I realise that a lot of Vets don't spend a great deal if any time outside of our little sanctuary & I am one of them. Everyone has there own reasons, mine being I find a lot of the site triggers me, even though it doesn't necessarily mean to & I am use to how & what people post in here & can tell (mostly) what I need to stay away from & when I need to stay away from it....
But want I wondered is (& its an honest question I would like to know the answer to) why is the rest of the site scared of us??
I am generalising & not trying to start a turf war I swear ... ... but I do get the distinct inpression that people outside of vets think we are, well... insane!!
Is it purely the age difference & "recovery status" that seperates us? or somewhere is there a forum you can read about all the camels & pink dresses & get lei'd parties, like urban lengends to scare off everyone that I missed? Because damn that would be hilarious!
When this started out it was a sensible question I swear!
I don't really post here I lurk
but yeah I just started posting occasionally because even though I am 17 I find I can relate to alot more things in vets like about children and that
But I think the reason people outside of vets are 'scared' of the vets is because its a much tighter closeknit community and even though if you read through posts everyone is so loverly and accepting around the main site the vets comes across as a more exclusive place as everyone seems to know each other etc
But yeah I think the vets are loverly *nods*
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
I check out substance abuse and first aid. Otherwise, vets is "home" to me.
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
I used to spend all my time in Vets, but now, my roles on RYL mean that I spread around most of the whole of RYL.
But that does mean I don't have a 'home', a real corner of my own.
Like my life, I never am sure where I'll belong..
I pop in now and again but I feel as you all know each other weel I find it hard to enter that sort of fold.
I wanna though. I am nice, really!
I want to kiss the bottom of the ocean before I burst through its surface into the sunlight, otherwise I will always be wondering about what was left unseen at the bottom
i'm tired of chasing my dreams. i'm just gonna ask where they're going, and hook up with them later.
As long as people know, yeah, we're close with our own little community and little in jokes, but man, these people are the most welcoming accepting people ever! And if they're not, you got me to whip them in to shape *giggles* Not like any of them would complain, filthy monkeys. :p
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
I only came to vets last week, and out of all the forums i've been to on RYL, i've felt more welcome here than anywhere else.
It's difficult to fit in on RYL as everyone has there groups and friends. I don't necessarily post often on Vets General but i often lurk around.
I definatly find i can relate more to older members than i can the younger ones (being 22 in around 4 weeks time).
I'm only just starting to properly post in certain sections and i've been on here for a while now. Because of my panic/anxiety disorder i struggle to try and socialise.
Hopefully given time i'll settle in more heh :)
Why do people find this forum scary? I mean im the least scary person you could ever meet. ZOMG if you met Erin you would just wet yourself with laughter and as for the rest of us we are totsally harmless. Vets are the minority of a minority of a minority. Its not suprising we stick togehter.
Aslo as for fitting into the group. Well ive never wnatwe dot exclude antyone. just come along be silly and shed your tears and all will be well.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Man im a bit drinkedtipated
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
I think it's hilarious that we scare other people, and i have several theories on why.
I should preface this with the fact that I cal Vets home, but I live in FA due to my position within RYL. This means that sometimes when FA gets busy I don't post much in Vets, but I do always wander back here.
I think we scare everyone because as previous people have said we are a very close community, and I think a lot of people feel that they aren't welcome here.
I think another reason we scare people is because of how we give support. On many of the other boards when someone posts for support you will often see a lot of placating replies.
If someone posts and says something like "OMGZ!! My parents are so awful they don't deserve to be parents. I came home like one hour after my BS curfew and they yelled at me for like ever, and took my mobile away and I'm not allowed to go out this weekend!!!! They are so terrible and they don't understand me and they are so mean i just want to die!!!!"
On other boards I see replies like "omgz sweetie you poor poor thing! your parents are so awful and horrible and you don't deserve to be yelled at for staying out past your curfew. hugz!!!!"
Where as in vets you are much more likely to be told something more realistic like, "Your parents are your parents, and a Midnight curfew on the weeknights is a very generous curfew. It sucks you got in trouble, your parents set limits and you should be expected to follow them. If you don't it makes sense they would punish you."
So basically, I think we scare people away because we can seem like we are being harsh and not understanding when we offer true support/advice rather than just "hugz" and agreement with what the OP is complaining about.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
I dont know why the vets scare people! we shouldnt! we are all nice and no one will bite unless provoked or the person is warned :) and we arnt all recovered!
someone needs to tell them we are awesome!
Just ignore me... wait you already do!
I was Lei'd live in vets!
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Secrete
I dont mean to be off or anything but Im so tired of this issue over and over again. Ive been on ryl now for over 4yrs and it comes around and around and around.
Vets has always been so welcoming even at the beginning of its conception when we were trying to carve out a place for us "oldies". Over the years we have had numerous younger members join in actively here who didnt feel threatened and were welcomed... even at the very beginning with Chia (amongst others).
there are sub groups within ryl to cater for different peoples needs so why do vets get singled out for all this resentment and animosity?... and not for instance the ED forum which has been around a long time too and again has a lot of posters who dont venture out too much.
I think its possibly because we are older and so many of the younger rylers who are facing difficulties with older/parental figures maybe have some element of transference of resentment to the older group of ryl.
the truth is we are different, we face different issues and as we are often people who ahve lived with SI for a very long time then we dont maybe think about SI in exactly the same way. Maybe its just that we have had more time to think about it and adapt to it and maybe even accept it which must seem alien to some of the younger members.
I think sometimes that the level of humour in vets could be off putting... as if we arent taking SI "seriously" or soemthing and again that must seem odd to someone who hasnt been dealing with SI for the same length of time. Whereas for us its incredibly important...
oh i dont know Im just maddened that this keeps coming up over and over again
I don't spend a lot of time in Vets, in fact I only recently "discovered it" (as in, I knew it was here, but I never really looked at it)
I think, as far as my views and such go, I don't feel like i "belong" in the wee corner. I'm 19, but I think my problems are much more...childish maybe. I feel anything I have to say isn't grown up enough for this board. Any problems I had or advice I gave wouldnt be good enough, because everyone already is friends here, and they all have more experience or something. I dunno, I'm not sure how to describe it.
I think the fact everyone is so close can make it off putting for others, and the fact most stick to Vets and aren't seen anywhere else on the site makes others feel like noobs in here. And we know how condescending people can be towards them.
I'm not aiming this at any particular person by the way, just in general. I (me, personnally, myself, cannot speak for anyone else) feels like I'm not grown up enough and don't have anything worthwhile to say. NOT anyone's fault, i'm just saying
Although, in saying all that, I've found I quite like it. It just moves slower than the other boards. I like it and people are funny but I feel not quite accepted yet. Theres all the in jokes and that.
I don't know what I'm saying really lol. I can see both sides of it. I know theres nothing to be afraid of, but I can see why it's off putting.
Last edited by DevilzKisses : 02-07-2008 at 01:50 PM.
Reason: I forgot I wasn't finished
I think younger people can tend to keep distance a bit from us older types because it reminds them of the uncomfortable possibility that they may still struggle with mental health issues and/or self harm when they're older. When you're young you can think that everything will be rosy and sorted when you grow up. Sad fact is that it often isn't. But you get more creative and stronger at being able to cope with it. The positive side is that we have acres of experience and can help younger folks through the rough times.
... but I do get the distinct inpression that people outside of vets think we are, well... insane!! 
.gif "rose")
