|
Triggering (OD) - Psychiatrist
Hi,
Sorry didnt really know what to call this thread. Anyway I have been feeling really bad lately.. I thought i was better ,but it has returned once more and basically I have had enough.
I finally worked up the courage to tell someone of my suicidal plans (a friend on the other side of the world) and she decided that she was going to talk to my pyschiatrist for me.... cos really in all honesty I prob wont tell him about my plan or how bad i am really feeling. He is so nice and understanding but I still have difficulty talking.
Anyway I felt so relieved that he would know what was going on for me when i turned up to my appointment tommorrow, So my mate got up in the middle of the night to call him, but he is sick today and they are not even sure if he will be there tomorrow.
This may seem so stupid (I am sorry) but now i am so stressed cos he might not even be there tomorrow and I really dont think that i can hold on for another week... I am also stressed cos I thought I would feel better knowing my friend had spoken too him.
I dont want to call the crisis team and be told to make a cup of tea, or go for a walk... that doesnt help.
I am just stressing mainly because what if he isnt in tomorrow????? I want to die, but yet i am also aware that these feelings may pass... I guess i just need support... sorry this post is so long.
|
