could it be his a.d.d.?

[bloody ignorance]

hey there, RYL. it's been forever since i've logged in, mostly because i've been doing alright. but tonight, i call upon the power of you wise people because i don't know who else to call upon. please don't leave me hanging!

so i've been with my boyfriend for about two and a half months, and we've been friends for longer than that. it all started out wonderful. he was late for our dates sometimes, but i didn't mind because he would open the car door for me and whatnot.. take me out to fancy places.. you know. the perfect gentleman. i fell head over heels for him, and him me. more recently, we've been fighting over little things. i dont like country music, and i think that america is too materialistic, so he assumes that i don't support our troops or appreciate our freedom. seriously, little things that he blows way out of proportion. he has also become more and more likely to be late, no matter where we're going. if we're going on a date, he's late. if we're meeting friends for dinner, he's late. and i'm not talking five, ten minutes. an hour, sometimes two. if myself or our friends are late, he gets mad. it really just depends on the day.

he told me early on that he has a.d.d. he's in his 20's. i've done some research and found that the symptoms match his behavior more and more recently... thinks he's not doing good enough, can't get organized, procrastination, can't sit still, impulsive (about buying things, making plans, changing plans), mood swings, i could go on.

we're fighting all the time, and realistically, it's more him than it is me. when i mess up, i own up to it and apologize, but he never will. of all our fights, he has apologized once. i really can't take it. my best friend and my mom have both told me to give him the cold shoulder for a few days, and once he has time to realize what he did (hopefully) and that he misses me (hopefully) that he'll come around and apologize (hopefully).

if it is his a.d.d. that's contributing so much, what can i do? he's not on medication or in therapy, though he was during his childhood. please don't just say "dump him, he's no good." because he is. i'm crazy about him. we spend a good amount of time together, not enough to cause the fighting though.

anyone have any good advice? or experience with a.d.d.? anthing? i'm desperate!

[craola]

I would never say dump him because of that, in fact I would consider that shallow :)
ADD is on the spectrum of Autism, medication although often used is not always a good idea, its generally what parents do to to get better control over their kids but just leaves them like zombies however for older people its obviously a lot better because they can regulate it instead. Ritalin is the most commonly known one but there is also Adderall and others that can be used. Behavioural and Cognitive therapy also are often useful to help regulate and cope with certain behaviours.
Adults also can work with an ADD coach to help them develop coping skills like learning to improve organisational skills etc.

This is probably the best ADD website, there is a lot of information about coaching, Relationships an FAQ etc.

There is lots of support for ADD/HD if you seek it :)

[bloody ignorance]

thank you both so much. that website is definitely a good start!