Im not all that great

[little_miss]

Im not great to be totally honest. There were cars going by outside my house, and everytime one went by i had to look. I thought they are undercover police, coming to get me. The cars changed each time to make it not so obvious but i knew they want to get me. Everyone wants to hurt me. Im scared.
And the aliens were talking to me, sending me messages through my brain. They want me to hurt someone, anyone, they have to be the sacrifice to save everyone else. I have to complete my mission.
He is watching me. They are watching me. I am being watched all the time by these people, through cameras in every room i go in. I just want to hide under my duvet, thats the only place i feel safe.

[MrsNutkin]

Is there anyone you could talk to about this?

It's not nice thinking anyone is coming to get you and the police have a lot of power so it really must not be nice thinking they are coming for you?

I don't what's happened to you but I know that I think the police are coming to get me as I got a prescription free when I shouldn't have; I didn't realise it was illegal but afterwards I found out it is (think it's classed as a civil offence) I asked someone I trust to call the pharmacy concerned after they coaxed me into telling them what was wrong. The pharmacy agreed to send me a bill but then they couldn't find any record I'd been there and told the person I asked to ring to tell me not to worry.

I should have calmed down right? Nothing is going to happen the Pharmacist told someone I trust to tell me not to worry. That didn't stop me worrying infact things have got worse since.

It's terrified and I'm sorry I rambled so much but there was a point to telling you that. I have an idea of what your going through but talking about it with someone you trust can help. Don't hide away.

hugs,
Sarah

[Steel Maiden]

Can you talk to your doctor about this?
Are you under any external stress atm?
Do you live alone or do you have someone who can help you out and hold your hand etc?

[little_miss]

Thanks for your replies.
I see the Early Intervention Team so i will be able to see my psychiatrist on tuesday to talk about this with him. But til then im not sure of how to cope. I wish staying in bed was an option, but that wont really help things. Any ideas?
Im not really experiencing any external stress, its just all this going on in my head, it really frightens me.
I live with my parents and brother, but they dont know what to say to help.

[Steel Maiden]

My Mother doesn't help me, so I can understand how you feel that your parents and brother aren't helping.
Good luck with the Early Intervention Team and your psychiatrist, please tell us how it goes.
Make a list of things that you want to say to them so that you don't miss anything out.

[little_miss]

Well i saw the psychiatrist, and cpn today from the Early Intervention Team. They are giving me lorazepam to help when i have thoughts of harming other people or really scary ideas. And the doctor said he will see if the anti-psychotic medication increase starts to take effect within the next week, and if not he'll increase my seroxat (paroxetine) to 60mg (im now on 30mg). I tried telling him all my thoughts, and symptoms id been getting. He kept saying i can ring the team at any time i need to, and theyll speak on the phone or come round my house. He asked if i had a specific target for the person i must kill before 1st july, and i said no. He asked me on a scale of 1-10 how likely i thought i would be to kill someone. I said 6. He understands how scary this is for me, and he wants to try and help.

[Steel Maiden]

I am so glad that your psychiatrist helped. How are you today?

[shadowedseraph]

Hey little miss im glad the psyche was some help *squishes* how are you doing today?

[little_miss]

Im doing okay today thanks. Well im getting there anyway. Thanks for asking =)

[shadowedseraph]

Thats cool glad your doing a bit better :0)

[Steel Maiden]

Good stuff.