Tea lovers of the world unite!
I am starting my own religion. Or rather my friend Laura and I are starting one but it was my idea. It's called
Teaoism. Its like Taoism. But with Tea.
Three Treasures of the Tao are love, moderation, and humility. While we Teaoists appreciate these things too, the Three Treasures of Tea are: drinking tea, contemplation of tea and love of tea. Tao in Taoism can be roughly stated to be the flow of the universe, or the force behind the natural order. Teaoists believe that Tea is the source of natural order and controls the natural flow of the universe. Teaoists, like pantheists, believe that a spiritual force is in everything. But mostly in tea. So by drinking tea we nourish our souls and come a step closer to enlightenment.
Generally our religious gatherings consist of sitting under trees, or at a nice table, and drinking tea. We sacrifice tea leaves by stewing them in water and then drinking said water, to appease the Tea Gods. We are not total purists, milk and sugar are allowed as long as they do not completely take away all the taste and goodness of the tea. Honey is also acceptable. Herbal teas only count if they have tea in them as well as herbs. We then use the tea leaves as a form of divination. Mostly we make up whatever we want, and make fun shapes, but the principle is similar.
Tea has been acknowledged as brilliant by many great philosophers and writers:
Tea is drunk to forget the din of the world. ~T'ien Yiheng
We had a kettle; we let it leak:
Our not repairing made it worse.
We haven't had any tea for a week...
The bottom is out of the Universe. ~Rudyard Kipling
There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea. ~Bernard-Paul Heroux
The 10 Commandments of Tea are thus:
1. Thou shalt drink tea at least once a day
2. Thou shalt not misuse the holy word of "tea" to describe anything which does not actually contain genuine tea.
3. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's tea.
4. Thou shalt not harm any animal or human by depriving them of tea, or in any way which could lead to them not being able to enjoy tea.
5. Thou shalt not worship any drink other than tea.
6. Thou shalt favour genuine tea over flavoured teas (with the exception of Chai tea)
7. Thou shalt keep teatime holy and sacred
8. Thou shalt not steal anyone else's tea
9. Thou shalt honour those who give you tea.
10. Thou shalt buy fair trade tea, to show your honour and respect those who care for the holy tea plants.
*nods*
(by the way before anyone gets annoyed or finds this offensive - it is a JOKE! have a sense of humour.)
