I am a serious **** up good for nothing piece of **** and you know what???? I don't give a rat's ass anymoe. Let it all go to hell if it wants!!!!! I don't care either way.
I am sick and tired of EVERYTHING. Mental illness, PAH!!!!! Depression, PAH!!!! Therapy, PAH and duoble PAH!!!!!!
No one cares about me. I have learned that now. And right now i don't care about me either. So let's all join hands and repeat the mantra: Kat sucks!!!!!
To hell with x-rays. To hell with heart problems. To hell with not drinking more than my set amount of wine for a week. To hell with injections, inhalers, false friends and people who stare at me because i've got ****ing scars. Go **** yourselves!!!!!!!
I am pissed off and it's me against the entire world right now and dammit, i am gonna give said world a serious beating!!!!!
So thank you for just wiping me off like a ****ing dramaqueen. Thank you for not caring. Thank you for banging on my door all night and demanding that i open up and speak to someone. Why the hell should i???? All i get is crap. Crap. Crapcrapcrap. And i've had enough.
I am a human being. I have feelings. I will not be hurt by you anymore. You can all go to hell for all i care!!!!!!!
So stop calling me. Stop banging on my door. Just leave me the ****ing hell alone!!!!!
honey you dont suck, and i care about you,
im sorry things are hard for you now and for the way people are treating you
and i wont leave you alone right now
im here for you if you ever want to talk, pm me anytime
keep fighting hun
love lora xx
I scream for the sunlight, or a car to take me anywhere, just get me past this Dead and Eternal snow.
And if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere, just take me there, and lie to me and tell me it’s gonna be Alright.
- Conor Oberst
Location: Denial Tent, Virtual Psych Ward Campsite, MA, USA
I am currently:
you arent a drama queen if there actually is drama in your life, which from the looks of it there is
it's good to get angry sometimes and i am glad you got some of that out - i think you needed to vent a bit
you are wrong though - people do care about you
they wouldnt call you and knock on your door and ask to talk if they didnt care. they may express it in ways that you wish were different, but they care a lot about you and that is the most important thing.
just hang in there and dont give up, and maybe take them up on the offer of talking when you feel ready? you have a lot going on right now and you dont deserve to go through it alone.
good luck xxxooo
Thank you so much for your replies *huggles the both of you*
You're right. People do care. And i should care too. But it's just so hard because it seems like since i have stopped cutting, no one takes my problems seriously anymore. They all say "Oh, but at least you didn't cut which is good!!!"
Why can't they understand it's the same chaos inside me, wounds or not?????
That seems to be the biggest problem with so many ppl who are there to 'help'..the old 'well, you arent cutting so all is well' group!! **** but that pisses me off. I dont know why that is so hard for them to grasp....i mean when a cast comes off, it doesnt mean the person is instantly fine now and needs no further help right?!
Oh hun, iwish i could help...but i will always be here to isten, no matter what luv!
thinking of you
luv ya
romp
Some days, i think that it's all a bunch of baloney, and i should ship off with a one way ticket to bora bora or tahiti. Generally, i picture this as a trip in solitude, but it looks like you could use the dream, too. So i'm inviting you to share it. :) Are you up for blue water, white sand, and bungalows over the water? Some of the bungalows have glass parts in the floor so you can look down and see the coral and fish... and the warm breeze- which we can enjoy, because in this dream there aren't other people, so no worries about hiding scars. Let me know, and i'll book your one-way ticket, too. i'll even order the first tropical drink. :)
