I know I have been asking for alot of support recently, but this is, kind of not selfish.
I have this friend. Possibly one of my best friends. She means the world to me. Anyway, she hasn't been okay for a while. She messaged me this morning pleading for my support. She is really not doing well. And I am worried sick about her. I have had anxiety and nausea all day worrying about her...
...well, the nausea might be because I drank too much last night, by myself. In a not good way.
Which is where my problem is. I'm a total ****-up, but she is relying on me.
now im bawling my eyes out. im bound by this guilt to help her. i couldnt live with myself if something happened and i didnt do everything i could. the other week she sent me this text, and then another friend called me and asked if i had spoken to her just after i tried to call her back but got no response, and he was really worried and i started panicking and having intense flashbacks. it was just like before i found williams body and i was so scared it was happening again.
how can i keep it together for just long enough to help her, someone please. i dont know what to do. she said "im glad one of us is sane" she has no idea. but like, she wont turn to anyone else. im so useless though. im going to fail her.
*cuddles tight*
i don't have any advice to give you, but i know that you won't fail her hun, and i hope your friend will be ok, and i hope you will be ok.
sometimes just having someone there who is there, even when they don't know the words to say, sometimes that by itself is very big support.
When times get tough, the best we can do is remember there is better to come. If we can hold onto this hope, then hope will keep us free.
All we can do for our friends is the best that we can! Now i know that this may sound harsh but its true!
You cannot be held responsible for someone else's actions!
Is there any professional services that you can point your friend towards? Her dr, a psychologist? Do u have any mutual friends that can help you with this, with the way uv been recently Erin you cannot and must not try to deal with this urself or you could find urself falling ten times lower than u r just now and none of us want that!
Do u know anyone in this girl's family that u can approach with ur concerns?
Sorry Erin I know that this might just sound like basic stuff and am not wanting to offend ya, but i also know that sometimes we can get so stressed that we don't think of things like that!
ONE THING IS FOR SURE YOU ARE NOT A F**K-UP PLEASE DON'T CALL URSELF THAT! BECAUSE THAT JUST HURTS THOSE OF US THAT CARE ABOUT YA!
You need to let her know you're not good. She will appreciate it in the long run. That doesn't mean you can't still be there for her, it just means you can put yourself first too.
Is there any way you can arrange to stay round hers for a few nights? That way you can both be miserable togehter But seriously, then you can keep each other company and stuff and you won't have the constant worry of "omg i haven't txt'd her in half hour, better do it now" etc.
i agree with chels that you should let her know how youre feeling also.
you may not be able to help or "fix" her but you can possibly relate to her......and that in itself is comforting to people.
please take care of you.
loves.
xxxxx
A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.
Erin, I know she is your friend and I have probably said this to you before. But you cant save the world hunni, its too big a job. Sure you can support your friend, but not at the cost of your own sanity. Notice the term support, not fix. Sounds to me like she may need some profesional help, perhaps you can help her get it. And whilst your there tell her about whats going on with you. Problem shared an all that junk.
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
im going over there tonight after work, armed with food and am going to make her dinner. she told me yesterday (Thursday) she hadnt eaten since tuesday.
i dont think they do realise that. it feels alot of thetime im forgotten until someone needs someone to talk to.
im really really not feeling great this morning. feeling really poorly. hah, the last thing i want to do is go to work, but if i stay here by myself...
Ahh my sweet smut queen of death. you wont fail her. There isn't anything to fail. You're doing yoru best and that's all you can do. AND you need to look after yourself. I know what it's like to be invisible until they need support. Please before you do anything, put yourself first. I KNOW that i'm asking the almost impossible but try? Think how it will effect you before you do it? *cuddles more* You can talk to me any time. I'll pm you my mobile numbers and you can text me if you want okay??
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I agree! How often do we take on more responsibility for people's problems than we should. Please take care. You cannot help her alone. You also need support.
Sorry I have no useful advice.
*hugs*
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
*hugs* everyone else has already said everything i was going to say so i just want you to know i'm thinking of you and if you want to talk i'm here. my email is on my profile so you can email me if you want and if you want my mob number, let me know and i'l pm you with it *cuddles lots*
You need to take care of yourself first. You will be better able to help if you are in a better place too.
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
I don't really have anything to add that people haven't already said but I wanted to wish you well and hope that you will look after yourself and not make yourself worse worrying over your friend. I think letting her know some of what you're going through so you can relate to each other and help each other through could be a good idea. Take care hun
But seriously, then you can keep each other company and stuff and you won't have the constant worry of "omg i haven't txt'd her in half hour, better do it now" etc.
