Triggering (SI/OD) - What should I do?

Ragdoll · 18-06-2008, 09:49 PM

I don't know what to say now I've opened this thread. Rusty's been home for 2 days so I haven't had to think too much about staying safe, I haven't had the opportunity. He goes back to work tomorrow

But then I don't want to rely on him to keep me safe, I should be able to do that myself.

Normally I could get a new piercing, it's partly the pain that offers release, but mostly the distraction of caring for the piercing. Being pregnant I can't really do that, but wouldn't it be better than cutting?

Why do I feel like being self-destructive anyway when I have a wonderful partner and baby on the way?

At least I've stopped on the ODing route of thinking... codeine and alcohol, that would knock me out for a few hours, let me sleep the day away, but I can cope without that, as long as I have something.

irkeninvader · 18-06-2008, 09:55 PM

*hugs you* Why do you feel unsafe hun? If you can figure that out, maybe you can do something to stop the triggers. Have you spoken to your doctor about feeling so self destructive at the moment? Your hormones probably aren't helping at the moment if you're feeling down so don't be too hard on yourself about feeling this way.

It's good that you've stopped the OD'ing thoughts. Is there anything you can do to keep you distracted while Rusty is at work? Could you paint or clean or make something to keep your hands busy?

Feel free to PM me if you need to talk. I should be around tomorrow morning if you're feeling unsafe on your own x

Ragdoll · 19-06-2008, 09:25 AM

Well Rusty's at home but things dont look like getting less stressful. He's seeing the doctor next week to be signed off work for the last two weeks of his contract because his depression is bad at the moment.

So now we've only got stat. sick pay coming in, and he wont get paid for this week cos he's on a temp contract so doesn't get paid for the first 4 days.

Don't know how we're gonna manage for money - we still need to find a house before baby comes along.

irkeninvader · 19-06-2008, 09:41 AM

*hugs* Sorry you're both struggling so much. Are there any benefits you can get while you're pregnant or do you not qualify for any til you actually have the baby? (Sorry, don't know much about child related benefits.) Have you been looking for a house or are you waiting until things are a bit more stable with money and Rusty's job etc? I think you said he will be finding a job nearer home when his contract ends - has he had any luck with that?

Ragdoll · 19-06-2008, 09:45 AM

We were lookingk, but not much now til we know whats happening with his work. I should get some benefits once baby is born, and next week I can get my maternity certificate so hopefully we might get a council house but I know they're very oversubscribed.

Trying to stay positive cos I think Rusty needs me to be the logical one at the moment (theres a joke hah!)... it helps to be able to let it all out on here.

Thanks Jess, I really appreciate the replies, I'm sure typing things on here keeps me sane (well, more sane than I migt otherwise be, anyway!)

irkeninvader · 19-06-2008, 09:57 AM

I'm glad it helps :) Sorry my advice isn't all that helpful though lol. You sound like you're approaching things pretty logically at the moment, thinking about benefits and housing and getting prepared. I imagine it's pretty strefful for both of you right now but you seem to be coping quite well :) If Rusty is taking a couple of weeks off work, could you find something to help you both relax together? Like walks in the park or a picnic somewhere or just something to get you out of the house for a bit?

bigmouth · 19-06-2008, 10:35 AM

I think a piercing done in a safe way is much better than cutting. Try and focus on the positive things, or at least the things that don't worry you or stress you out. I know it's easy to say and hard to believe, but as long as you don't spend more than the essential, money matters will get sorted and and it's better that Rusty's home with you if it seems that will help his depression from spiraling. Don't feel guilty for feeling low, just because you're preggers doesn't make you automatically happy. Take care

healingheart · 21-06-2008, 05:05 PM

i hope things are going better for you now :D i have a really good friend who developed post natal depression due to all the hormones etc and she really found counseling and medication helped a lot to keep her stable. Keep talking to everyone on here to keep you sane! is there any local support that you and Rusty can reach out too? having two people in one relationship coping with depression is sooo difficult. you may find going to counseling together and separately will help you both cope a lot better.
my parents are both facing depression since my brother died recently and its so hard for them because when one is falling the other falls too. and its so hard to support your loved ones when you struggling to cope on your own...
But help is out there :)
i'm sorry if this doesn't help- i'm new on here but you have my love and support :)
heads up and try and smile :D

xoxox