Triggering (Suicide) - Ive tried so hard to make it!!!!

[starshine]

I SICK OF THE WORLD, I'M NICE, I'M GOOD, I'VE DONE MY VERY BEST TO HOLD ON, BUT I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!

I know this might sound sooooo lame but i don't care. All i want is for someone to care wether i live or die! im sick of parents who tell to go right ahead and friends that think im a loser, teachers that think im just sooooo sweet and sooo perfect, their expectations of me don't help! I need someone to talk to my shrink gave up on me so my parents took me off my meds, the school consleor cant be trusted not to mention she don't have the time for my sad excuse for a life! i dont sleep because of flashbacks, can't eat because it would give people a reason to call me fat and i can't even though its about the only thing i want to do!

This is totally just a rant but replies are appretiated

[Spoons]

is there anyone that you trust to talk to?
Remember that there is a live help feature on this website where you can talk to somebody or if you dont fancy that, the samaritans are a really good organisation, sometimes it helps talking to someone who is a complete stranger.

Who put you on your meds originally? do they know that you have come off them? how have you felt since coming off the meds? better or worse?
do you want to go back on them? Can you go see your gp?

Is your school counsellor helpful? she is there to help you, dont think you are not worthy of her time.

[Sleepless123]

Hey how are you doing now?i hope it helped to get all of that out.

i am wondering also some of the same things as Spoons posted above.If you able to answer those questions that would be great but i also understand if not.

i think it was really good you posted.Thats great!Well done.

And i know it must be so so hard when you feel no one cares especially that no one cares if you live or die and im sorry you feel so low.

But im sure people do care and would care very very much if you werent here.

i know also it feels very terrible and absolutely totally horrible though when it feels you have no help and are not sure where to turn and in a place where you feel you cant find a way forward or dont know where to go.i hate it when i feel similar to that.

Who is the person that you get on best with in your life?Can you talk to them about all this or any of it at all?

[nowhereman]

I care if you live or die and I'm pretty sure everyone else on here does too, not to mention the people around you. Maybe they don't always show it but they feel it. It's hard when people have such high expectations of you, but try to remember no-one is perfect and they can't expect you to be.

[starshine]

Well thanks for the replies, no i have no one to talk to, no friends, no nothing. my school consleor is almost heartless i could never talk to her a bout this.The help here is like always offline and chats too......just no!

On the med thing,yes i want back on them very much, they helped alot. But my parents didnt pay insurence so it got cut off so that means no therapy and no meds AT ALL!

[nowhereman]

Is there maybe a helpline you could ring? You can email the samaritans too if you don't want to ring.

[starshine]

i tried samaritans it helped a little, but mainly ive just lost the will to try! i feel worthless and hopeless!!!