I might not be around for a bit – and I am really sorry I never got back to answering the posts that I said I would – (Yellow and Hells) and that I probably wont be here to support everyone that means tons to me.
I have spent all afternoon and most of the evening at the Hospital – not for me.. My mum hasn’t been too good since my dad died and today she couldn’t stay awake this morning – I said for her to lie down but this afternoon I went to check on her and couldn’t wake her up – she was really funny colour and her breathing sounded gurgly and weird. I phoned the doctor and they came up about half hour later – they rang an ambulance and I have been there since. They say she has had an angina attack but they are worried about her heart – she is all hooked up with machines at the moment and not really aware of anything. I feel so churned up – I’m so worried – my dad only died 7 weeks ago – I’m really scared.
I’m going to stay home tonight and go back first thing in the morning -they said they would call if anything changed in the night. Please let her be OK – I don’t think I can cope right now. I can’t do this, I don’t think I can.
I’m sorry everyone but I needed to tell someone and I wanted you to know that I’m not ignoring you or forgetting you – I just can’t cope with it all right now – I’m really worried and I won’t be any good here at the moment.
Lots of hugs to last for everyone xxx
Last edited by Katch : 23-05-2008 at 11:00 PM.
Loneliness with or without people, a feeling that comes from inside
Unable to show your true feelings, Unaware of the things that you hide
A life built around a pretending, feeling things that you think you should feel
A life unaware of it’s ending – is there a chance it could ever turn real?
My Lovely Daughters: Reason[TO]Believe, Bound by Thoughts, and Kija. My Little Sisters: Automatik Teknicolour and Pomegranate. My Big Sister: Lil-Princess. My Neice: forever_lost*
*hugs you* Don't worry about not being able to be here at the moment hun, you have to do what is best and necessary for you and your family but please don't think that because you don't feel up to supporting that you aren't welcome. I hope and pray everything gets better with your mum and will be thinking of you. Do let us know if we can help at all. My PM box is always open. Take care of yourself xxx
I'm sending you good wishes and crossed fingers hun. I'm here if you ever need to talk. Please look after yourself, we'll all be thinking of you while you're away. Take care, I really hope everything turns out okay *hugs*
*snuggles* Your family has to come first and we understand that. We'll be here if you need us hunni. Your mum will be in my prayers tonight hun, as awell as you xxx
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
Location: Denial Tent, Virtual Psych Ward Campsite, MA, USA
I am currently:
Katch honey no apologies are necessary but the fact that it even occurrs to you to say sorry just shows how kind and caring and considerate you are.
you come first, you and your mum, so please just look after the both of you and focus on yourself and her, but don't neglect you! you are no good to your mum if you arent okay.
*huggles you*
let us know how you are when you can
xxxooo callie
Don't worry about not posting, concentrate on your mum.
I hope she gets better soon.
Take care of yourself too
*hugs katch*
You know where we are xxxxx
"Because you don't notice the light without a bit of shadow. Everything has both dark and light. You have to play with it until you get it exactly right."
*snuggles* Oh Katch, sweetie I'm sorry. Please just take care of yourself and your mom hun and remember that we all love you
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe
Hi all, Thank you for the words of support – really need them right now, it’s been a long and very emotional day – Mum was fairly stable during the night but whilst I was there this morning they gave her a drug (called GNT I think) that was meant to help with her heart – but suddenly she lost consciousness and all the alarms went off – the doctors all rushed round – I was so scared I thought she was going – they said her heart stopped and it turns out it seems she had an allergic reaction to the GNT (the doctor said to me that 99.9% of people are OK with it).
I feel absolutely exhausted and done in – not sure if I want to cope with all this – I just feel so unsure of the future. I know you all understand why I’m not posting but please know that I am thinking of you all – I wish I could have you here by my side. xxx
Loneliness with or without people, a feeling that comes from inside
Unable to show your true feelings, Unaware of the things that you hide
A life built around a pretending, feeling things that you think you should feel
A life unaware of it’s ending – is there a chance it could ever turn real?
My Lovely Daughters: Reason[TO]Believe, Bound by Thoughts, and Kija. My Little Sisters: Automatik Teknicolour and Pomegranate. My Big Sister: Lil-Princess. My Neice: forever_lost*
feeling scared - mum is doign OK and is reasonably stable - still not good but the doctors seem quite happy with how she is doing.
Me - i feel so empty - i just think whats the point - is there one? would anyone really notice if i just dissapeared - i wouldnt be hassle then to people i wouldnt be in the way - people wouldnt feel like theyhave to talk to me - and i - well i wouldnt have to be me.
now i feel selfish - for feeling like this when you are all so nice.
Loneliness with or without people, a feeling that comes from inside
Unable to show your true feelings, Unaware of the things that you hide
A life built around a pretending, feeling things that you think you should feel
A life unaware of it’s ending – is there a chance it could ever turn real?
My Lovely Daughters: Reason[TO]Believe, Bound by Thoughts, and Kija. My Little Sisters: Automatik Teknicolour and Pomegranate. My Big Sister: Lil-Princess. My Neice: forever_lost*
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!! 