Triggering (SI) - Please Help Me!!

[WelshWitch79]

I have for about 2 years had an irrational fear of spontaneous combustion. Something that Ive always had a fear of from childhood.It took hold of me and I believe I was suffering from a psychotic depression - this delusion that I know it will happen to me from nowhere, probably from the fact that I always think bad things will happen to me.I have been diagnosed with depression in the past. In the past I could control this fear but 2 years ago it took hold of me.Ive read all i can about the subject and I know it is "irrational".
I had (2 years ago) voices in my head saying I will die of it and they wouldnt go away,I tried but they would not go, I imagined flames out of my stomach and everything, could not sleep at night. I tried to control these thoughts by occupying mind but somehow they came through.
That is until I started hearing voices. Now I hear voices saying it will happen to me and I cant cope.They voices speak to me as if there is someone standing next to saying it to my side, they are no longer in my head. I think im hearing spirits,demons and I am so scared because of this fear I have, hearing voices saying I will die of it makes it so much worse. I also hear voices in my ears saying "I will die"

Yesterday just made it so much worse, I havent heard a voice for a bit, the fear pops up in my head but I get rid of the thoughts then, but out of the blue I hear a voice saying "you will die of spontaneous combustion".
It happened yesterday, I was reading something on the computer as you do,had tv on to my left, and as I was reading I heard a voice to my right side (as if someone was standing there talking to me/a bodiless voice) saying I will die of spontaneous combustion.It was a male voice and I heard it as I read, I didnt feel as if I was in a trance, just reading something on the net and I am so scared.I wish these voices would go away.I wish I could control them if they were in my mind, but they are not, they are outside my head, as if a man was standing next to me talking to me. Please help me, I dont get the voices all the time, but when I do I question my own sanity,and think I couldnt have hallucinated that, it sounded like someone said it to me.

Hubby doesnt know what to do, he says that the fear has somehow brought about these voices, maybe an underlying illness, as I have disorganised thinking.My memory is ok, but I have thoughts which come and go as if they were a dream and I cannot keep hold of them, and I cant tell if what I really have done is real, I get false memory, like when I think back, I cant remember exactly what I have done, either that or my mind fills in the gaps and I believe that I have done something i havent. All I get is these voices saying I will die of my fear and Im so sick of it, they are real/or sound so real and make me nervous. Please help!!
xxx

[Stefanie]

That sounds horrid, well done for starting to talk about it here. I heard voices (although not for many years now) and it really gets under your skin, but it doesn't mean it's for ever. It does sound like a form of psychosis, but this doesn't mean you're going crazy! You have one thing that it totally invaluable - insight. You know you are hearing a voice that other people would not hear and realise it is a kind of illness. I work in an inpatient psych unit and insight makes all the world of difference to recovery. There are some good medications out there, but CrazyRabbitLady is right, the doctor is your first stop really. If you find it too difficult to tell him/her take a print out of this thread - you have explained it really well.

Good luck and let us know how you get on. *hugs*

[slacker]

seriously well done for getting those words down here. taking that first step and saying what can feel really hard to say is you getting your needs met because you deserve good support and should expect to be respected for what's going on for you

[DUNFERMLINEBOY]

Hi there!

Am really sorry to hear that you've been going through this and I would advise u as the above two posting have to contact your GP!

In saying that though, you say that the fear originally stems from your childhood, can you think of any event (even perhaps one that consciously) you have long forgotten that may have set the roots of this fear in the first place!

Have you tried relaxation techniques when you start hearing the voices, or even simply asking them to go away! I know that this may sound strange but in some cases depending on the root of the problem this has been known to work!

Next time u experience this, try and picture a bubble around yourself, preferably blue and picture it protecting you from all unwanted influences and fears and this may help!

Let us know how you get on

Best Wishes,

Craig