Triggering (Suicide) - Just a moan I guess.

Heidi Tiger · 21-05-2008, 08:04 AM

I don't know what I can do to get them to take me seriously!
Last night was one hell of a night.
I don't remember the exact sequence of events but it involved:

Cutting badly enough to need 8 stitches.
Nearly hanging myself
Getting wankered drunk
Running out of the ambulance in just my dressing gown so I had to get dressed in the ambulance.
Running out of A+E
Bashing my head repeatedly off the wall.

I was so honest with the psychs. I told them I was not safe, that I couldn't keep me safe, they sent me home. I don't know what to do. I am NOT safe and they will not listen. I know this morning it all seems worse because I'm hungover and achey. But I don't know what to do.

xbeckyx · 21-05-2008, 08:32 AM

*hugs* I'm really sorry you had a rough night.
Is there anyone you could call like a crisis team? If not maybe go to the hospital today and ask to speak with someone from psych and explain how you are feeling? Maybe print of what you wrote here so they understand how frustrated you are feeling?
Take care x

Heidi Tiger · 21-05-2008, 11:53 AM

Thanks guys,
I guess I'm just frustrated, I've been under crisis services for a few months and now I'm being referred on to other things,but as that happens they've cut my appointments down to once a month, and that's really not enough support for me. And I know I'm lucky to get anything, it's just right now I'm not safe. Last night I wanted to be taken in, but they wouldn't do it. I go home next monday so I'll be safe then, it's just coping in the meantime I'm not sure about.

one_step_closer · 21-05-2008, 12:30 PM

Sounds like you've been having a really tough time, i'm sorry that people don't seem to be taking you seriously. Have you spoken to them about what happened last night? What was their reason for not taking you in last night? Try and take it easy today and hopefully your mind will be more clear tomorrow so that you can work out how to stay safe. Is there anyone you can go and stay with for a while or someone who could stay with you?

If you hit a really bad point, as has been said, get yourself to hospital asap. Maybe other people don't understand how tough this is for you but you yourself know when things are about to get hard and you can take action to try and prevent it. I really hope that things get better for you soon. Please stay safe and get in touch any time. Take care. xxx

Heidi Tiger · 22-05-2008, 01:16 PM

I'm really struggling today.
I wat to go to A+E and ask them to take me in again. But they wont
and I also feel like I have to have done something first to validate me going to a+E.
I can't cope, I'm scared and my heads a mess and I can't see a way out of this.
I'm staying on the net to distract myself, I don't even trust myself to walk down the stairs without hurling myself over the banniesters. If I do walk to hospital I pass two chemists shops on the way where I'll be tempted to stop and buy pills. Plenty of buses I could throw myself in front of. Nowhere is safe.

MrsNutkin · 23-05-2008, 09:50 AM

How are you feeling today Heidi?

Heidi Tiger · 23-05-2008, 11:25 AM

Not good, but I'm at Luke's.
He's looking after me and giving me lots of cuddles, which is what I need right now. I feel bad that he's practically babysitting but it'ss keeping me safe at least.

x-dying-inside-x · 23-05-2008, 11:33 AM

hunny i wish i could make you feel better.
im glad you have someone looking after you.
if you want to talk please pm me anytime.
xxx