my sister (14, almost 15) has been cutting and i can't bear it. often she doesn't wear long sleeves so you can see old marks and i feel awful and it triggers me really badly. i thought by cutting, somehow magically, i could stop her doing it, but that was stupid and obviously didn't work. and i wouldn't want her to spend all her time covered up, uncomfortable and ashamed. i want to cry and it makes me feel angry too, not at her, i don't know at who, maybe angry at myself and at her pain. okay the little bint gets on my nerves sometimes, being all moody (expressing her feelings??? how very dare she! i don't know what this world is coming to) but not for this, i can't stand it, i want to take it all away and i can't, because i know perfectly well she's her own person, even if i do partly cause her emotional pain. but seeing the evidence, reproaching me, tears me up in side and i can't deal with it, i don't know how. i know i'm being selfish. help?
Last edited by tamo >bhūtā : 19-05-2008 at 08:46 PM.
This is such an awful place for you to be in; I remember finding out someone I looked after started and that was bad enough. I agree with 'Crazy Rabbit Lady' I think the first port-of-call would be talking to her and if that doesn't work maybe talk to someone she confides in or is close to just to find out how you can give her support to stop her needing to do it rather than making her stop because other people think it's wrong.
You're not being selfish at all, she you're little sister and you want to take away her pain. I think thats perfectly natural. I would want to do the exactly same thing. Maybe you should talk to her, you might be able to understand better wheres shes coming from since you SI too?
*hugs* and good luck, I hope this helps.
Hannah xxx
i don't think i'd be able to talk about it, it'd be so awkward, we never talk about serious stuff, if someone else tries to when we're in the same room, we make jokes.
*hugs* That's a really difficult situation to be in..
Does she know you cut?
As has been previously suggested - when you are alone, try talking to her, If the mood is right maybe try and mention that you've seen the marks and you understand it? Just try and help her, if only offering first aid advice for her cuts? No pressure, no emotional pressure, just an offer of support if she wants/needs someone to talk to? It may be awkward but if she openly shows it maybe she is silently asking for your help..
It's going to be hard, and you aren't being selfish, I know it's awful to find out someone you love cuts but all you can do is be there for them..
I'm sorry this is a rather pointless, rambly post..
I hope you get this sorted.
If you need anything, feel free to PM me.
E.
x
yeah, she does know i cut, or at least that i have done in the past. maybe i'll be able to work round to mentioning it by starting a conversation about something else, see how she reacts to a semi-serious topic before lauching straight in with the uber-serious one. :-S
Trying to talk to her about tyour own experiences may be a good dea as it would establish a closer relationship between the two of you and you could try and rely on eachothers mutual support... but make sure that the time you approach her is right, as doing it at the wrong point in time may scare her away and cause her more anxiety.
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!! 
