Triggering (SI/OD) - Suicidal; being hated.

[worthless x]

I'm on new medication. I'v been taking more than I should but its ok because it makes me feel hyper and really happy...so atleast its working.

Theres this girl who doesn't like me. At first none of her family did apart from her Dad. But then her big sister started talking to me and liking me, and it was all good...the rest of her family started liking me ect well I dont think the big sisters bf did but ohwell.

Then a few weeks ago I think it was this girls bigger,bigger sister who answered the phone and she HATES me.

Then me and the big sister stopped talking a while back once on msn we said like 2 words to eachother but apart from that its been like over a month :| I think shes disliking me again. I was worried if shes ok or not but her Dad says shes fine so ohwell.

On the 25th a girl texted me...(the first girl im talking about) and said "leave us alone" so i take it she meant her her sister and family.

Then she phoned me the other night but i didnt answer.

then tonight she phoned just to say "shut up" :S and then started texting me saying..."your a weirdo" "im scared of you, i dont know what you'd do to me if im nasty to you" "i dont like you" she phoned me again but I didnt aswer because its 1.47am and most of my family are in bed and I'd feel the need to shout at her...so then i'd wake them up (N)

so anyway shes so 2 faced to me and about me, its so un-bloody beleiveable. :|

On the 25th when i cut myself, tried to kill myself, and took an overdose and landed in hospital for a week it was all because of i thought this family hated me it was when the youngest girl sent me that texting saying leave us alone...

and now tongiht i feel even worse.

I JUST WANT TO F**CKING DIE. ITS THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET HER AND HER FAMILY OUT OF MY HEAD &; LIFE.

I CANT BE BOTHERED WITH THIS **** ANYMORE. SHE KNOWS WHAT I FU**ING GO THROUGH BUT YET JUST FEELS THE NEED TO GIVE ME A HARD TIME ANYWAY.

I JSUT WANT TO GO AND CUT MY F*CKING SELF.

I JUST WANT IT TO STOP.

MY BIGGEST FEAR IN THE WORLD IN BEING REJECTED; PEOPLE DISLIKING ME.

AND IT HURTS ME MORE BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL FRIENDS WITH ME NOW THEY ALL HATE ME EXCEPT FROM THERE DAD.

I JUST DONT SEE THE POINT IN LYING, USING ME AND BEING 2 FACED!!!

I JUST WISHED WE COULD BE FRIENDS. I HONESTLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE.

i wrote this all out bloody perfect then f**king accidently deleted it all.

[Animad]

I don't really know what to say but try to keep yourself safe.

A lot of my friends have done similar things in the best.The best thing to do is just get on with life and try and find new friends, not everyone is like that even though it might seem like that. Just try and keep yourself safe, things WILL get better

[worthless x]

Thanks for the Hugs everyone.

Well, I think...I'v been through a lot since I was little. Anyone I'd speak to would say "I PROMISE you it'll get better" and to be honest, how can they promise? "It'll be better when your older"...hmm, nope \=

I'm not even going to read what I wrote this morning. i was in a bit of a state. I think to much into things. I just cant believe how depressed and suicidal I got this morning when everything was FANTASTIC for a week.

I'm fed up of feeling crap.

Nothings making me happy. I'v been bloody depressed and suicidal for years. I'm sick fed up of it all. Its f**king pants.

I think its strange how when people die they always say "i wish they would of told me what they were going through" or something ect. but when you do they just bloody judge you. Or dont have time for you.

In my life I know one person who I can actually talk to about depression, self harm ect who never judged me...and i was actually able to feel better by talking to someone about it who understood, and that person was the girl who i was friends with in this thread. ^

:( ;sighs;...

[brap_brap]

My granny said this to me. It doesnt matter think about you and if the hate you theres more people in the sea. I feel the same is you worried about what other people think

[worthless x]

:] cheers.