What the heck.... help?

[*&& She's Just Forgotten]

I don't even know what i aim for, for posting this. I just feel the need the explain it and maybe i can get some explanations?. xD. That'd be very helpful.

Okay, so i keep getting these crazy arse thoughts into my head. But the one that's troubling me most is my touch light. For months now, i've had insomnia, some nights are worse than others. But just recently, i've been feeling like my eyelids are going to glue theirself to my face and stay there because i'm so tired, so i choose to lay down and try to get some sleep, but the moment my head hits the pillow, i'm wide awake. But the other night, something strange happened & now it keeps happening, & getting stuck in my head.

I tossed and turned for hours on end, just at the hope that i might get some sleep. But then suddenly i came over all un-easy and i felt like something was in my room... At every little noise i heard i freaked out, it was unreal. I was so scared to moved that i just layed still, frozen trying to hold my breath thinking that if i moved this thing would get me. It felt like it was right beside my bed, then id get images in my head of what ever it was, coming up right close to my face, leaning over my bed just staring at me, agrily. like it wanted an explanation or something. Then suddenly, all i could think about was my damn touch light. the thought of the touchlight was scaring me, but i was freaking out so much by this point i had to get some light into my room so i braved and reached out and quickly made my room light up with the simple touch to my light. It made me feel a little better and the comfort of not lying in the dark that i was able to breathe a little easier. So i calmed myself down a little and tryed to get to sleep. But this is the thing thats puzzling me. Everytime i closed my eyes, the image of the touch light was implanted into my brain. I opened my eyes i was tired. I closed them i was wide awake & there was the light. It felt like this light was keeping me awake, but i was NOT aloud to turn it off. The longer it stayed on the crazier the thoughts got. I felt like it was trying to tell me something (as crazy as it sounds) like with the light being on it'd determin something......Like the brightness and something else would determin something and how it would happen. I just cant make sense of it. But its like my light will just determin how powerful something is? by how bright the light was? . Maybe i couldn't sleep because i coucldn't work out what the message was. Ugh....its really hard for me to explain. this makes no sense,i guess its why its a little hard me explaining it.

& and now everynight, i get the same thing,, making my insomnia worse, and resulting in me not being able to sit in the dark and stuff. I just wish i could make any sense of all of this, and what my light is telling me it'll determin.

=S. well if you've read this all and dont think im crazy then thank you sooo much,,but if anyone could explain this, id be even more greatful.

Thank you =)
Caz xx

[slacker]

hey caz

it sounds like you're suffering serious sleep deprivation. trippy dreams, night terrors (do a websearch on those), hallucinations and what feel like really irrational chains of thought can hit you big time. sleep deprivation is used by nasty military people because its such a powerful mind messer-up

the image you get of your touch light sounds like something pschologists call a hypnogogic image, where it gets kinda imprinted in your memory so you see it when you close your eyes, as if you've got the same image. again, this could be sleep deprivation-induced

if you can, go to your doctor, or go to accident and emergency at the local hospital. if that's a major problem then try drinking the herbal tea Valerian Plus, which for many insomniacs is a huge help in getting some rest

you're not crazy Caz. keep safe

[Steel Maiden]

Insomnia can cause this. I used to be freaked out by my lampshade when I had insomnia. I couldn't even turn my back to it because I was so freaked out. Even now with my medication making me sleep well, I have to have my bed in the corner of the room so that there's nothing behind my back except the wall. Although since I started sleeping better, I feel a lot more calm in the dark.
I don't know if I am helping. If I'm not, sorry.

[effervescence]

i think slacker pretty much said it all.
take the light out of your room one day? change it for one in a different room?

[*&& She's Just Forgotten]

Wow, thanks so much guys... Every reply was a great help.. Sleep deprivation would explain it i guess. It all makes sense now when i think about it properly. Slacker, About the herbal tea Valerian Plus, i think that'l have to do for now. I know i should go to to doctors about this all. Originaly i was ment to be going for some other stuff, but umm,, i just cant bring myself to go. I have an astma check up soon, so maybe i'll mention the fact i've not being able to sleep properly. But everything you said makes sense.... Thank you so much

Steel Maiden, OMG,that did help. that just probably confirmed the fact that it is enduced by my insomnia. I've had to do the same thing. I cant sleep facing it, i have to have some sort of my body touching it, with the wall behind me and facing into my room. I dont feel comfortable unless i know only the wall is behind me and nothing else.

& effervescence, =),, i think i might have to for now.. That's a good idea, although when i take it out i'd probably feel i cant sleep because it isn't IN my room. it's crazy.

Thanks once again. I really appreciate it.

[Steel Maiden]

Quote:

Originally Posted by *&& She's Just Forgotten

Steel Maiden, OMG,that did help. that just probably confirmed the fact that it is enduced by my insomnia. I've had to do the same thing. I cant sleep facing it, i have to have some sort of my body touching it, with the wall behind me and facing into my room. I dont feel comfortable unless i know only the wall is behind me and nothing else.

I found in the past that having my bed in the corner of my room and having the curtains wide open helped a lot. Now that my insomnia has gone, I can sleep with the curtains closed and occasionally I can turn my back to my room, but I still have problems with the second one.