So, about a month ago my dad & his wife had a child. My half sister is the fourth daughter in my dad's family.
I am one of 3.
I am 28.5 years older than my half sister...
The thing is, I don't really care, I mean I know she is my sister & if she ever needed me I would be there, but she is going to be bought up like an only child. The youngest of my sisters is 26.
Is it wrong that I don't see her as part of my "family"? I just wondered if anyone else had siblings that are much younger than them or in fact much older & wanted to know your thoughts?
I have a sister who is 5 years younger than me and a half-brother who is 12 years younger than me.
My sister always has been and always will be my sister. I have never lived with my brother, and hardly ever see him. The last time I saw him was over two years ago. This is because of my dad, not my brother. My brother can be a bit of a brat sometimes but he has been brought up by my father so that's not really his fault. My dad's partner also has 4 children from a previous marriage. I have met them once or twice. They live closer, so I think my brother sees them more than he sees me and my sister.
I know 12 years isn't as big a gap as the one you're talking about, but I do find it very hard to think of my half-brother as part of my immediate family. He feels more like a cousin that you don't see very often, and I feel awful for feeling like this. But I don't know him. I don't know what he likes or doesn't like, I don't know any of his hobbies. I've tried to write to him but all I get in response is a short email from my dad's account.
Sorry, this has turned into a bit of a rambling rant. I think my point is that I have a hard time thinking of him as part of my family. I think this is down to my feelings towards my dad rather than the age gap. I imagine I would feel differently if my mum had another child. That sounds horrible but it's how I feel and I can't change that
I have 2 "full" sisters who I grew up with and 2 "half" sisters who i only ever saw on holidays etc. I consider them all sisters but I dont have anywhere near the same relationship with my older 1/2 sisters (who are 7 + 9 yrs older then me) than i do with my younger "full" sisters (who are 6 + 8 yrs younger than me). I think they had some resentment initially towards me as a young child and tbh we only see each other once a year at a family get-together. we were closer when I was a small child but just totally different people as adults.
I didnt realise the poll was multiple choice and to prove the point - I only voted for my younger sisters... how telling is it that I didnt even think of checking the box for my older sisters...
Thanks guys... I guess I just find it weird.
I mean, my dad is 58 & his wife is 36 (so only 7 years older than me!! & 6 years older than my oldest sister) which was an issue to start with.
When the child is 21 my dad is going to be 79!! (I find that extraordinary!) but anyway, I can't possibly see where a sisterly relationship with her is ever going to come from? I mean its very possible that she is only going to be a few years younger than my own children...
I knew someone at Uni who had sisters who were much older than she was and they had a sisterly bond. There were ups and downs but that's the same in any relationship. If you make sure you see her or keep in touch with her enough I'm sure you'll find that bond. She'll be able to turn to you for help and advice, as you'll be older and wiser :)
I have a half bro and sis.
bro is 11 years younger and my sis is 14 years younger i think >.<
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
i have 3 brothers and 4 sisters, oldest is my brother 32 i think youngest is my sis who is around 12, im 24, my only full sibling technically is my sister who is 2 years older than me, though we all consider each other full brothers and sister regardless of having different mums
My husband's brother and older sister are 14 and 16 years older than he is, then he has a sis who is 3 years younger. His older siblings left home before he was really aware of them as siblings. So he sort of feels like the oldest child.
I have a sister who is two years younger than I am. I raised her, all of the responsibility and none of the authority. As adults, my sis and I have nothing in common except for our parents and I'm divorcing them.
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
I just wanted to add, from a slightly different perspective, some of my sadness.
I'm an only child.
My birth was difficult, and my mum was told she would have had to have a lot of tests if she ever wanted another child.
And, as she was 34 when she had me, and she didn't want the tests, she didn't have any more children after me. Or before.
In any case, my parents, particularly my father, had such a hard time being parents and coping with life and the house and themselves, it's good they only had the one.
But I do still feel some grief.
I guess i'm the other 'part' in this equation being that I have 3 older half brothers who are 40/45+ whereas i'm 17 and my brother's 13. So yeh, even now my Dad's one of the oldest Dad's out of my friend's parents and such [they're his sons].
We don't really see them often, occasionally they might come down at Xmas or just randomly when they're in the country, but on the whole although they 'feel' like brothers [as such], they're not siblings of mine in anyway near the same way as my younger brother, I guess because we've just grown up at different times and not together. I'd assume they feel the same way about me, and the same way as you do about your new sibling, whereby me/my brother aren't really 'proper' siblings.
"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."
My brother is 2 and a bit years older than me. We werent very close when we were younger but when I am well and able to do things we get on alright. I find he doesnt understand on know what to do with me when i'm not well. Still we are going to a gig together in june, despite my wheelchair.
i have an interesting family set up.
my mum had my brother with her 1st husband. my bro is 7 years older. she then met my dad and had my brother who is 18 months older then they had me. they then split, my dad met his first wife and they eventually had my sister who is 11 years younger than me, they split and my dad went on to marry his current wife, who is 10 years older than me, and they had my sister. there is 20 years between my sister and i and i made her an aunty before her first birthday.
it is strange, having a sister so much younger. but for me, its difficult enough to get my head around as my dad and his wife moved to america when she was pregnant, so i have seen very little of my sister. they came over at xmas for 3 weeks and i spent time with her then, other than that i rely on them to send me pictures.
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis
.gif "rose")
