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12-05-2008, 04:08 AM
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#1
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I'll give you all the strength of my soul.
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: usa
I am currently:  
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Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - not right?
so, i feel really uncomfortable talking about this but here goes.....so i'm 19, have had 3 changes to have sex and haven't. because i'm afraid. well, i think i'm afraid. afraid and disgusted most of the time. it's very comfusing as soon as i pinpoint a certain feeling, it changes....it's strange. but the thing is it's becoming quite the problem with relationships. i get freaked out not long into the them and run in the opposite direction. does anyone know anything about this or have a similar problem.. i feel so stupid right now. 
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"Risking your life and doing something that could rob you of your life are exact opposites." "You must believe in yourself, follow your path without fear." "Her eyes are so dark and deep, like you could be sucked in. It's like she knows everything..." "...we'll transcend time... to live again, perhaps this time... we'll find happiness..."
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12-05-2008, 06:36 AM
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#2
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i get that feeling quite alot scared of having a relationship because i dont want to get close or anything like that so i tend to shy away from that alot. sorry if im not much helpxx
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12-05-2008, 06:58 AM
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#3
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feeling like a failure...
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: in my own little world...
I am currently: 
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I have the same feelings about intimacy... and I am married... but back in August I was raped... so now sex with my husband is difficult :(
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We're all in the same game;
Just different levels.
Dealing with the same hell;
Just different demons.
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12-05-2008, 10:59 AM
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#4
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There is no place like 127.0.0.1
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: London
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I am 18. I was sexually abused by my grandfather as a child. I have never ever desired sex and still think its disgusting. I know how you feel.
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PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10 or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
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12-05-2008, 12:58 PM
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#5
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Loon NOS
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nottingham
I am currently: 
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I was abused when I was younger and was incredibly nervous about the first time I had consensual sex. Luckily I was with an incredible guy who was very understanding, it took weeks of trying for me to be relaxed enough. I still didn't trust him completely though
And it's taking a lot longer for me to trust anyone in a relationship, but I am getting there. And I know sex can seem scary if you've been abused. The way I rationalise it though is that what was done to me wasn't sex, it was an act of violence perpetrated on my genitals.
Sex shouldn't feel dirty, it should be a way of feeling closer to someone you care about. However DON'T rush yourself into anything. In time you'll find the right person and feel ready. It's nothing to be ashamed about being 19 and not having lost your virginity.
Take care and feel free to PM me if you need to talk.
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Reality leaves a lot to the imagination
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