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Triggering (SI) - just unsure in need of advice * possibly triggering*
well everyone i am back i used to be melbear04 i haven't been here lately becuase i have been in recovery for 3 adn half years had 3 slip ups in those years which i am very proud of however everything is slowly and surely going down hill. everytime i get everything going good i get knocked down and i got ti good this time . i have not SIed yet but the thought crosses my mind more and more and my distractions are not working very well. there is a lot going on now and i am in desperate need of advice. I am goign to try to get this all out so this may be long. I am a single mother to a 3 year old boy and his dad has recently decided to come back in his life when ever he sees fit he is very inconsitant. i have secluded myself again and talked to my dr. got me back on meds but they are not working. now my sons father is taking me to court for custody and visitation becuase he says becuase of my depression i am not capable of being a good mother. i know this is false but i can't help but wonder what is goign to happen if i lose my son i know it will only get worse becuase my son is the reason that i stopped in the first place i have been so stressed and upset that i have developed new issues i now have anxiety and panic attacks i have never had those before and now they are becoming quite frequent i have a dr. appt. monday but it is a dr. that i was not with when i went through SI almost 4 years ago. he doesn't know my history and i am going to have to explaoin everything to him and i don't even know where to start. there is just so much goign on i am also noticing i am losing more and more control i lost my job due to a car accident and i notice that i am starting to slip back into bad eating habits. everything is just crashing down and i don't know what to do anymore.
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