Triggering (SI/Suicide) - Society's view of SI

[BoundNoMore]

Why is it that so many people in society (or at least the ones that I have come in contact with) seem to think that self injury is just something pre-teen and/or teenage girls deal with? It's like once you hit 20 you can't struggle with it anymore, and if you do you are looked down on.

I have tried to talk to my mom about it... once... BIG MISTAKE!!!! but she just got mad, and told me it's a "immaturity thing"... basically she was yelling (without actually saying it) GROW UP!!!! GET OVER IT!!!!

So... needless to say... I don't talk to my mom about it anymore. I don't even know if she is aware that I still do or not (since I am married and not living in her house anymore)

Part of me agrees with her... I do need to "get over it"... it is a selfish thing to do... I need to "grow up"... ARRGH!!! I feel like such a... I don't know... a pathetic person, a loser that I can't just get over it.

And my husband recently asked me, "is my love not enough to make you want to stop?" *cries* How can I help him understand, that it has nothing to do with the fact that I don't love him, or that I don't feel loved by him. He is the best thing that has every happened to me... the only man that has treated me like I have always dreamed of being treated... and quite honestly, if it wasn't for meeting him, I'm not sure that I wouldn't have taken my life... and it because of him that I continue to live (he came into my life at a time when I was on the verge of suicide... and I still struggle with suicidal thoughts at times).

[effervescence]

i'm sorry you are struggling with this.
some people just don't and can't understand.

[MammaMia]

Some people will never understand :(

Fortnately, one of my ambitions in life is to raise awareness about self harm- even I learnt a bit more today and i thought I knew everything already.....

[Margo]

We are programmed inside from childhood to expect our parents to "take it all away". To ease our pain and kiss it better. Unfortunately for some the proverbial "kisses better" seem to fly out of the window. regardless of age we still want them to tell us its all going to be okay and to hug us and make it all better. when that doesnt happen and we are berrated for feeling ill it can leave us feeling so neglected and rejected.

Im not suprised you feel bad.

Secondly there comes that part where we expect our parents to know it all. As kids they had all the answers too and when we get older i guess we still want them to have them or at least have an understanding. Again it can be sould destroying when they just "dont get it".

Alas not everyone in this world will react to an illness or condition they are not familiar with and go and research it and try to find out more for a better understanding. Many people when faced with something they dont know go into fear and react acordingly attacking the symptoms or person involved maily because they are scared to death of the unknown.

Im afraid that there is only one solution to this problem and that is education. The onus lies with you too! you are going to have to get together information on depression and self harming and shove it under their noses and waoit for them to read it. If they wont read it then you read it out to them. Its hard and demoralising but it DOES work.

finding lists of famous people who too suffer from it can also help. It can make people realise that even the rich and famous have this too. I know that sounds silly but ive found people pay far more attention to the reasoning and illness when they hear Owen wilson tries suicide than a 20 year old girl from Suburbanville who was a student at x. When faced with idols and heros who also suffer all ofa sudden it can seem to some far more acceptable and real.

Take care

Matthew

[dark_light]

Some people just don't seem to understand
A nurse told me she felt so let down when i self harmed - she couldn't understand it had nothing to do with her, she wanted me to talk to her instead but didn't get that sometimes its not about that.
Self harm just seems to be one of those things that a lot of people just cannot get their head around, even those who are trained in mental health. I think a lot of people see it as a choice thing and think we should 'just stop' and find other ways of coping like everyone else.
I get a lot more understanding if i tell people i have depression, but as soon as i mention si many people distance themselves.
I have been told its childish and attention seeking even though i never show my scars.
I hope we can educate people and that somehow it will become less taboo and people will be more accepting.
You aren't pathetic or a loser, please don't think that, its more an issue of a lack of understanding.

[blondiebear]

Some people won't understand. For them and the way the see life you just do your best and pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

I think that the public is gradually learning about Self Harm with the publication of a couple of books about it. I don't know what to do about the age awareness though.

If love were enough to stop people from harming themselves, it would be enough to stop people from drinking and drugging too.

I'm just trying to educate the people I see at AA meetings. I can't talk directly about it at meetings, AA has customs about singleness of purpose and that is what has kept it going for so many decades. But I talk to my friends and trusted aquaintences in direct terms and I've developed a couple of code terms to use when I'm sharing in an AA meeting. I'll talk about destroying myself or about imploding.

My friends in AA know that I've combined the idea of the chips in AA with the orange and white bracelets for SI awareness. I made my own bracelet. Sorry folks, I was traveling when I decided I wanted one. Anyway what i do for myself is for every month I don't SI, I take an orange bead out of the bracelet and put a white one in in its place, then just string it up with new elastic. I can show that to my friends in AA and if I go back to all orange I show that to them too.

My husband has an antenna ball on our SUV/4x4 that looks like a clown, it is from a local take out chain. One day the clown had an orange ribbon scarf and once he realized that it was my doing, my husband thought it was fine.

I guess I'm trying to talk about Self Harm to people who understand it, understand the feelings being too intense, and who just deal with it/dealt with it in a different way. I hope that will serve.

[Slip]

This is the eternal question I have wanted to know the answer to for years & years & years....

I have come to the conclusion that there is no answer...