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Old 08-05-2008, 09:30 PM   #1
purplestardust2
 
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Triggering (Suicide/Sexual Abuse) - Can`t cope anymore

I just can`t do it anymore I was abused when I was young and ever since I have hated myself but it`s got worse now cause my dads dying and leaving me and he wasn`t there when it happenened. I feel so fat ugly disgusting dirty and evil. I can`t trust people because of what happened and I`m a cut up mess I just want out of it all, I just really can`t cope anymore and I feel so alone I just want to die and get it all over and done with I`m a weak pathetic mess who can hardly go a day without self harming but it`s not enough I don`t want to be on tis planet anymore, sorry if this is the wrong forum. I want to die but don`t want to put my amily through it.



why can`t I fly over the rainbow?

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Old 08-05-2008, 09:37 PM   #2
green.eyes
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hey hun.
please talk to someone about how bad things are. you may get more support that way. i'm so sorry things are hard right now but pelase believe they wont always be this bad. if you need to SI alot at the moment then dont worry about it, yo'll stop when you're ready. you are not evil- dont blame yourself for what happened, its not your fault.
hang in there and stay distracted.
talk to us on here and if you cant stay safe go to A and E.
stay safe
*hugs*





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Old 08-05-2008, 09:43 PM   #3
purplestardust2
 
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I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate myself just don`t deserve or want to be alive anymore.



why can`t I fly over the rainbow?

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Old 08-05-2008, 09:45 PM   #4
green.eyes
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hun i'm so sorry you feel that way but i bet a lot of people would disagree with you- your family, friends etc wouldnt say that. maybe you cant see yourself properly right now because of everything's thats going on so you have to trust the people you love and believe them that you're worth something
hang in there





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Old 08-05-2008, 09:49 PM   #5
ERADicator
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Your dad isn't leaving you. He'll always be watching over you.

Just stay strong. You're still here and that's a good sign. There is always hope and things will get better even though it doesn't seem that way yet. I used to think about suicide quite often when I was depressed and felt like nothing would ever get better but when I least expected it things went right.
It's also about changing your attitude. Try a little optimism. It is tough to be optimistic when you're feeling that bad but it can be done and I think you're strong enough to do it.

Just hang in there dear.

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Old 08-05-2008, 11:02 PM   #6
Undomiel
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You're not a pathetic mess AT All Kristy..and you DO deserve to live.
Your abuser stole so much from you...he hurt you so badly and that hurt will take a long time to heal BUT it's not you who's dirty or disgusting or worthless...it's your abuser. YOU deserve to live and to be free of this..

I honestly know what it's like for self harm never to be 'enough'..no matter how deep you go or how often you do it...the only thing that feels like it will be 'enough' is death...BUT it's not true..it feels like it is..but it's NOT. You don't deserve punishment Kristy..

Please hold on...we care about you so much..even if you can't believe for yourself that you deserve to live please hold onto us and to your family and everyone who loved you who will tell you and keep telling you that your life is worth SO much...
Please stay safe..

xxx



'Won’t you run, fly, open up your lungs tonight, breathe freedom for the first time in your life..'
I WILL keep smiling...I will..


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