Rant - I can't make promises anymore...

[someone-hiding]

Please help me.

My two close friends, who were going out till the younger one of them's parents found some condoms in his house, flipped and said they'd put him on the child abuse register, and her on the opposite. They banned them from seeing each other or ever going out again. They see each other everyday at school and are openly intimate.

They discussed telling me this 'secret'. And they did, they made it out to be this terrible terrible secret, that could ruin both their lives. I told them not to tell me. But he did. They made me promise not to tell a sole. And I couldn't cope. I told my best friend who was very suspicious of why the younger guy was not allowed to his party, where the older girl would be. She read him saying on msn 'I can't can I' and I couldn't stop him from making it even more obvious. I hate lying and I suck at it.
They made me swear not to tell a sole, including my boyfriend. I was cutting myself up about it so much. And I'm trying so hard to stop!

So I told my best friend last night.

I'm cut myself over lying to them that she didn't know, and then finally told them that she knew.

Why am I so stupid?

It's such an awful position to be in and I feel manipulated and decietful.

And now I've got silly suicidal thoughts. I'm all alone and in hysterics. My best friend is so angry with them, because she knows how hard I'm trying to stop.

I understand that they're annoyed, but my best friend is not going to let this get to his parents! She has never told a sole about my cutting.
I trust her with my life. And she is good friends with them anyway.

And now I have thoughts about now is killing myself! Cuh. I am just a hysterical mess atm.

I've lost two people I care dearly about, who I've tried my best to keep them together.

I can't cope.

[Bleeding Angel]

hey hun

First of all it was wrong of them to put you in this position and its something you should let them know.

You should let them know how hurt you feel by it, and how you shouldnt have been in that situation in the first place.

Im sorry its making you feel so bad right now, is there something you could do to try and clam yourself and keep yourself distracted?

Killing yourself isnt the answer hun, and its not something you should kill yourself over, you may not have lost them, in a few days everything may be fine again, but try to keep yourself safe.

im here if you need to talk

[taintedangel22]

hey there

hun please try not to get too hurt by the situation, and remember, none of it is your fault, your friends were wrong to put you in this position!

you might think it will help, but taking your life isnt the answer! promise! it would be such a terrible shame for you to do it over something that may well blow over faster than you know!

things like this always seem like horendous at the time, and i think everyone has been cuaght in a situation like this, but if you ask most people they do get better!

its hard i know, but the best thing you can do is try stay distracted, theres plenty on RYL to keep you occupied! just remember, you may think youve lost 2 friends, but how would your whole community feel if they lost you!

chin up hun, here if you want me

katy
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