please help me...i'm in desperate need

[girlinlove123]

To everybody who reads this, please help me because i need help and am desperate.
The man i love and want to spend the rest of my life with and me have been goin out for a year now. I'm 16 and I wasnt a virgin when i first met him, however he was, and is 17 years old.
Now for the last 3 months or so we've been having major problems because he keeps thinking about the fact that I had slept with 4 other people before him. It is RUINING our lives and im not exaggerating. Neither of us can eat, sleep or live properly. 2 of my exes me and my boyfriend have come across and he really does want to kill them. I want to spend the rest of my life with him and I am desperately trying to help him but he says nothing does.
I know the problem lies in his head but it kills me to see him so hurt but he has dumped me twice (very briefly) because he got angry and really upset. I cant bear to loose him and i wont, so please tell me what i can do to help the man i love.
thank you

[Relentlessrockstar1986]

I'm in a very similar situation, and sadly I don't really have any advice at the moment because it's happening to me as well. Though, try sitting him down and talking to him, tell him that he's the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, that those other guys mean nothing to you and even though they did at one point, they don't now.
Maybe he just needs reassurance?

[smoochy_lou]

**hugs!! ** jsut try sit him down and talk

take care xx

[TimesLikeThese]

reassure him that it's all in the past, and there's nothing you can do to change it. he's the one you love, not your ex's, make sure he knows that. take care. xxx

[RubberTree]

Wow thats some pretty crazy issue you have going on there at your age. If you want real advice that will solve the problem from a man who knows about your situation then PM me and I can throw my opinions at you.
But I wont do it here. All public forum advice seems to have a requirement to be happy and always agree with the original posters needs. But like I said you have a issue going on where you need some good blunt advice from someone whos been down that road and saw it to the end.

[Queer Fringe]

Sorry to hear that, he sounds like he has some issues and you have recognized that, but like everyone says; it's in the past and he needs to be reassured of that...xx
Hope it works out...

[Mistakenly Beautiful]

Tell ya the truth me and my boyfriend dealing with the same problem now. Im 16 and he's 18. Only thing is I'm the one who is a virgin and not him. He's only been with one girl but they were together for like 2 years. I heard lots of awful rumors and people telling me stuff. Like they'd do it like 5 times a day. They'd done it at school. She cheated but he would not leave cause he couldn't see past his own lust. (That's not even half the things people told me.) And when I asked him, he told me everything I'd heard was true.

I know you are not in that spot youself since you were with four guys, not doing it like crazy with one person.

But when I came across this I couldn't help but think. He must feel like I do. There were, and still are nights where I'll be up till like 2 crying and being upset. It hurts. It hurts so much.

But he's with me right? Not her.

Same for him. Explain to him that you are with him, and want only him. Make sure you always remind him how much you love him. That he's all you'll ever need.

I am not over it.

But knowing my bf cares helps me not be so upset.

But all you can do is give someone time.

I know that if my boyfriend couldn't hold on to me while I tried getting past this, I'd leave so fast.

Give him a reason to want to see this through.
Hold on tight and he'll eventually see you want him and only him.

I know this is what needs to happen but personally its just not gotten to the point where I feel better. 7 months. Still hurts.

So just give him the time he needs and don't let him go.