Triggering (Suicide) - .

[bacardi]

Its not a thing thats that easy to say but i honestly mean it. Im ready to die.
And you'll probably tell me that im not, because hey, im got up this morning, i got to college. And the fact that i actually said it would probably lead you to belive im not serious cause Theirs nothing wrong today cause i do what i do every day. People arent supposed to hurt like this and their not supposed to go through so much shit. People arent supposed to be alone. This world aint designed for the people who cant cope and i aint designed to keep on fighting to stay alive when its the last thing i want to do. I know that theirs something inside of me that'l make all this worth it one day. But how the f*** am i supposed to keep "coping" till then. People just do it. I just do it. But i know the second i stop is the second il give in.
Please dont let me give in.
Maybe one day il get my reward for this shit. Il get somebody rapping their arms around me til its ok to let go. Its a fools hope right?
I have never wanted to end it so much in my entire life, and believe me when i say it. But do you get what i mean when i say its impossible?
That whatever pain it is you got to live through it cause who wants to die a selfish cunt. "Im a pimp and pimps dont commit suicide" im not a pimp but you get what i mean.
Even if i hold a gun to my head at the doctors or psychs, they stil wont listen to how bad it is.
I have no idea what to do.
I cant even sit here and cry.
I cant go home.
I dont have anyone to call.
so yeah...im screwed.

[so_confused]

I feel exactly the same...Maybe if you tell me why you feel like this, I can tell you why I feel like I do? Since being on this site I have recieved lots of messages. Please PM me or something. Sian xxx

[Puppet Strings]

I know what it feels like to think that suicide is your only way out, the best way out, but like you said... there is a strong chance of there being something to completely make up for all this hurting. Just because it's hard to see now, it doesn't mean it will never happen, just because you're unhappy now it doesn't mean you will stay unhappy forever. It's not a fool's hope, not at all, and try to cling on to all hope you have.
You mentioned the professionals not listening to you. Try to persevere, and/or ask to see someone else. Keep at it, keep expressing how bad things are, and hopefully you will be heard. You can keep coping, you can overcome this, and things can get better.
Take care, x

[green.eyes]

hey hun
i believe you when you say you want to do and we all take you seriously.
nothing i say will make you feel better but i can tell you a lot of us have been where you are now, convinced that there was no other way out but there always is.
go to a doctor or go to A and E. tell someone how you feel and get help ASAP.
write down the reasons you have to live.
talk to us.
hang in there
PM me anytime
*hugs*

[so_confused]

Yes definatly go to the doctors. Tell them your having suicide thoughts. I was taken to the hospital automatically because I done a stupid thing, like you want to do. And soon everyone knew how I felt. The way my family ran to me and the sound of their relieved crys made it clear that suicide was not the way out. For me, AND you! There are lots of people here that love you. And please go to your doctor. Since being on here I have talked throuh my problems and have found out what Im suffering from as well as depression. Im on anti deprassants and wil soon get the help I need. Please hang on in there. Get a nice notebook from the shops, and a nice pen! I done this and I write all my feelings down in it. (Tell the paper, it wont tell anyone-very good at keeping secrets is the paper!) Not even your feelings, anything you want! I write down questions, thoughts. Even the things I wanna say to people that I feel I cant say to their face. And if your too scared to tell the doctor, Write it. Its easier if you dont know what to say!!! Love you all. Sian xxxxx