to find out that the psych i saw in the one tretment house i was in this year can not see me..even tho he said he would. i found out today (after calling to see how long it would be about..its close to two monmths now and i expected a 4-6 month wait; been on this merry go round before lol) that they have no idea why he said he would see me, that isnt how it works etc..and to top it off they had no refferal anyways!! One place says they sent, the other says they never got it...lovely.
why when i am willing to acceopt help do i get nothing?! perhaps i should refuse it, then i would be flooded with it right?
I WANT to be well..i want to learn how to fight this in whatever way...yet im nowhere...again.
only one of my meds left...hoping that my GP (he's great) will do refills for me and satisfy the benefit ppl if i see him regularily (which i will gladly do)
But im back to square one...AGAIN!
makes me think if they dont care why should i keep forcing myself to fight so hard????
I cant even really get angry about it..my hubby got more angry, he's disgusted with all ive been thru in this regard.
The 'why bother' thoughts are getting harder to ignore and the voices telling me 'see you ARENT worth it' are only getting louder...
Look i know this is going to be of little comfort now but you met a psych that you seemd to connect with who thought he could help you. Well let me tell you that he aint gonna be the only one! There WILL and there ARE more out there FOR YOU! Finding the right psych isnt like finding the right partner. Theres more than just one or two out there for us!
You keep looking and you WILL get one. This proves there is hope! This proves that there are the right people out there for you. Hell if this doc was saying things he shouldnt have then perhaps he wasnt the right one to be with anyways. YOU WILL FIND ONE! Just dont stop looking!
You are so worth the effort!
Lots of love
Matthew xxx
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
*slaps back of romps hand*
nomore with the shotgun rompy
no. i wont have it.
you deserve help and you ARE worth it.
Matts right (as always!), keep looking and you will find another good psych. there are more out there it is just really crappy that you havent experienced more than one yet. but you will if you keep looking. there are peple who will help you romp, just hold on till you find them.
stay safe rompy
love you
xxxlily
romp hunni.... i wish i had some helpful words... i agree with what has already been said and am so screwed up that i have nothing left to offer. but PLEASE try and leave the shotgun alone, yeah? much love. xx
"...that incremental suicide of turning your life into a dream, to make being awake as similar to sleep as possible. Drowsily, lazily, dry-mouth your way through the day's ceremonies, fumble your way back into the dew-bather you never really left, draped in brown, brown now all around, the haze!" - Russell Brand on drug addiction.
"Si ma êkh gûndo piyiamásko...ándo bírto barruno. Bírto, bírto barruno."
i know how you feel hun, i really do, and i know how hard and frustrating it is,
keep looking hun, you will find the right psych for you, keep fighitng,
just dont give in hun,
you deserve to be well and you deserve to feel better, and you will,
always here for you
love lora xxx
I scream for the sunlight, or a car to take me anywhere, just get me past this Dead and Eternal snow.
And if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere, just take me there, and lie to me and tell me it’s gonna be Alright.
- Conor Oberst
thank you all..its so good to have ppl who care and understand and listen.
at least i have my meds now (on a restricted basis as ive been labeled 'high risk', how nice!) and mybe some help soon.....
thanks again
romp
huge hugs romp, you will get there, I know you will...
As the penguin said, you have connected with a psych, so hopefully that will make you feel more positive about meeting up with another one. Take care of yourself.
kat x
