Triggering (SI) - Confusing mentality.

Hannah_x · 30-04-2008, 07:48 PM

I've been feeling really, really bad lately with pressure about exams etc and now the fact that my three best friends seem to have decided that I don't exist, and about a month ago, after about six months free, I relapsed. I didn't tell anyone except my boyfriend, but he was really supportive about it and everything, but what made me feel the worst was that he was upset. I've cut since and he said he was "disappointed" and that I can't keep resorting to it.
At the moment all I can think is that I want to cut, but I don't want to upset my boyfriend, so I'm not. And in some ways I resent him for that.
Has anyone else had anything similar ? I'm really confused by my own thoughts right now.

lonely_wreckage · 30-04-2008, 08:01 PM

Been there with the boyfriend thing. He's now an ex. He always used to say 'i'm not angry i'm just dissappointed'. It made me worse though cos i wasnt doing it for myself and it made me really depressed and stressy all the time. And i ended up hating him cos he wanted to me to stop fcos he didnt like it but he didnt want to help. *hugs* i'm not saying this will happen to you, but you should talk to him about it and try and make him understand. Maybe he thinks that by saying that he is helping to stop you?

Good luck with the exams. Try not to worry too much about them and *hugs* for the friend thing. My friends are like that with me and its not nice. Maybe try arrange something with them and if they are still being off have a word with them? They might not even realise they're doing anything. sorry if this isnt much help. good luck with everything

*take care* xx

green.eyes · 30-04-2008, 08:52 PM

exams and friend issues at the same time must be realy stressful, have you told anyone apart from your boyfriend tat you're finding things ard? well done for going 6 months! remember, relapsing is a part of recovery and it doesnt undo all the hard work you've put in to get to this point. could you discuss with your bf why you feel the need to cut and try to talk to him instead when you get the urge to SI. remember, you'll no longer need SI when you have strong coping mechanisms in place, in the mean time, try not to feel guilty- you're doing the best you can.
take care good luck with everything
xx