how stupid can i get *poss trig for s/h*

[falling-appart]

hi i guess
i dnt really know where to post this but here was suggested so sorry if it is the wrong place.!
i'm just so stupid any pathetic.. basically over the last 2 yrs i have self harmed alot i mean my arms are a complete mess. everytime i get on the road to recovery it all goes pear shaped something just always gets in the way. i know this isnt really any exuse but i have been pretty much self harm free for the last 6 weeks or so maybe longer. and i know yes i should be proud of my self but thats not all the onli reason i have achieved this is because i have been doing drungs well so to speak i have been smokin weed ( i know i am absolutely stupid and patyhetic) but its the onli thing that works for me it relax's me and help me calm down and take my focus away which then doesnt result in me messin me arms up. but now the problem i face is when it come to something i cant deal with i onli end up back on the stuff to again relax me . but at the end of the day i may be helping my self in once sence but on the other hand makingthings worse cause not onlyu do i have to beat something i cant i have to be able to not rely on it no more.
i'm stupid for doing it in the first place and i know i shunt have but i dont know what to do anymore i cant cope with what i am doing .
please if anyone can offer nay advise on what i could do then it would be much apprichiated.
thanks for listening x falling x

[.lost.the.tin.can.]

Unfortuantly I'm not in a good place right now myself and don't know how good advice I can give...but I wanted you to know I've read your post. I understand completely about always feeling like something getting in your way when you are just starting to feel ok. You shold be proud of what you have acheieved and knowing you can do that will make it easier for you when you are ready to stop. It's been, nearly a year for me now. And I still have moments where I stumble and feel I need to harm, feel it's the only way to fix something. Which is why I'm back at RYL right now. Because what's happening tm is my biggest hurdle and I don't think I can do this one alone. Just know we are all here for you hun, you can do this and you will do this.

You are not stupid for doing it, don't ever think that. Everyone copes in different ways, to some people whats going on in your life to make you feel down wouldn't even scrape them but to others it would be the very end of the road. You're doing ok hun. Really. You aren't pathetic or stupid, please believe me.

If you want to talk I'm a PM away ok? Take care of yourself, please be safe. xxx

[toystoystoys]

I do this as well but what you need to do is try not to do either, even if its just occasionally you dont at first, n what i do is just try n think of something else put on a song or tv program you like, read something, draw text or phone a friend who can make you laugh, writing emails to a friend who i have a lot of good memories with always helps me, anything to take your mind off it, even coming on here might help just till the feelings pass.Sorry if this hasnt been much help but im here if you need to talk xxx

[green.eyes]

a lot of people substitute one form of self harm for another or for other less healthy coping mechanisms, you're not alone.
do you have a counsellor/doctor/psych/teacher you can talk to about why you feel so stressed in the first place? it sounds like you're focusing on not cutting rather than on the issues that make you feel like cutting in the first place.
have you tried doing something really physical lke going for a run or dancing or something when you're stressed? it can really help to release tension and exercises prdouces endorphines which lift your mood.
take care
x