Triggering (SI/Suicide) - I hate this.

[rachelll11]

I havent been on here for a long time, because i thought i was coping.
I went out last night, and I drank too much, i always do.
I dont know what happened, someone fell out with me or something.
And then I was sitting in this back garden on my own, crying. And wishing i was dead. And then i cut again. I dont know what to do anymore. Im always unhappy, and ive managed to convince myself it would be better off if i wasnt here messing things up for everyone. Because all my friends are always worried about me (the ones who know). I can't even get up to go to school in mornings anymore. I never knew it was possible to hate someone as much as I hate myself.
Im also so sick of my mum reminding me i have to wear long sleeve tops. I know I have to, but when she tells me when were out shopping for clothes it gets to me, i dont need to be reminded all the time.
When it comes down to it, I think im ready just to give up.
I don't want to go to my guidance teacher, because i felt i was coping on thursday, so i went to see her and i was happy.
I hate writing these, i always feel like im waisting peoples times, and i look stupid.
Sorry its so long.

[l'il esky]

your not wasting anyones time and your not stupid!! why do you HAVE to wear long sleeves, i get there are probably scars but you shouldnt feel that you have to, and your mum doesnt sound like she's helping much with comments like that. the problem with this disease is from one second to another you can feel completely different.your guidance teacher will think no less of you if you admit your struggling, will just be some more support for you. bug hug xx

[KUgirl09]

I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. There have been many times when I started doing really well and then things fell apart. It happens and I know it sucks. Don't give up quite yet. You've seen that things can go well for you. Whatever it is that has set you back can't keep you down forever

[green.eyes]

*hugs*
can you talk to someone like this guidance person about how you feel hun- don't be so hard on yourself. you cant expect everything to suddenly be perfect but its obvious you're trying really hard. your riends are worried because they care, it's their job!
hang in there hun, i know it might not seem like it but you can get through this. jsut don't try to do it on your own
take care
PM me anytime xx

[Cazki]

Heya there *Cuddles you* Im sorry that your having a difficult time. Your not wasting our time at all. Your certainly not better off dead. Please dont give up you can get through this. Do you have any other support at all? Such as counseling? Do you know what it was that caused you to harm yourself? Can you talk to us about what it is that makes you want to die? I know what its like to be really good then suddenly you find yourself really down and unsafe.

Please dont be so hard on yourself as this really wont help you in the long run and will only make things worse. Please dont keep everything bottled up inside you as this really wont help and could end up making things alot worse than they already are. Please keep talking to us. We are all here for you, please dont think that this is something that you will have to go through on your own. We all care about you and will do our best to support you.

Take care best wishes Ian xxxxxxxxx