Triggering (Suicide) - Help Me

~Lizzie~ · 14-06-2007, 11:15 PM

All I think about is killing myself. I can't think of anything else. I've actually started planning when I should do it. I just can't stand any of this anymore. I feel like I'm just a worthless problem that everyone has to deal with. I can't keep going. I'm ready to give up. I don't really think anyone would miss me. They'd be happier to be rid of me. What's the point of trying to go on anymore? Sorry for rambling, but I feel horrible.

Stellata · 15-06-2007, 11:49 AM

How are you feeling now?

Feeling like you are a worthless person doesn't make you worthless. Why do you feel you are a problem? Has anyone ever said that to you? Has anything happened just now to cause your despair and hopelessness to come forward so strongly?

abcdefgpie · 15-06-2007, 01:49 PM

Don't be sorry. You're allowed to feel this way.
I have tried to kill myself (and almost succeeded) and yet now, I'm a happy person, and thinking about death at my age scares me a little.
I know things are hard now, and maybe it feels like there's nothing left to live for or something, but I felt that once.
Now it's two and a half years on and I enjoy life and would never kill myself.
You can't know what the future will bring so how can you know you're ready to die?
PM me if you need to talk to someone.
Take care, please.
Love Rhiannon x

Greyscale · 15-06-2007, 05:46 PM

Don't be sorry that you feel this way, everyone feels that way sometimes. People WILL miss you--that I know. People always miss someone when they're gone. I know it's really hard for you right now, but you just have to keep pushing. Try to remember all the good things life has to offer. Think of what you want to do when you get older, think of what you'd miss, take a look at Fun & Distractions, read a book. Just keep pushing. Things will get better.
Take care of yourself. PM me if you want someone to talk to.
xx
Laura

~Lizzie~ · 15-06-2007, 10:33 PM

I don't think anyone has ever told me I was a problem, but I just get the feeling that my friends get tired of me being depressed, even though many of them have been before. I feel like they're tired of me, and wish I would just go away. I was really suicidal a few months ago, and the night I was going to kill myself, one of my friends found out and talked to me out of it. I don't know why the feelings came back so strongly now. I found out my grandma died this week, but I had been planning to kill myself before that, so I don't think that's it. I just don't feel like its worth it to keep trying. I can't see the point. Even though I don't know what will happen in the future, I know it will be bad. I have OCD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I am constanstly stressed and anxious, even when I have nothing to be stressed about. I can't deal with the anxiety anymore. Its just too much. Its all I ever think about. Well, that and killing myself.

Stellata · 16-06-2007, 07:36 AM

How about asking your friends what they think.... It might surprise you, and could help you feel less alone.

I'm sorry to hear about your Gran. Were you close?

Thinking that your future will be bad is part of your illness. It doesn't mean that it will be that way.
I understand how hard it can be to live with constant anxiety. Are you having any treatment and support? That can make such a difference.

nowhereman · 16-06-2007, 07:58 AM

Of course people would miss you if anything happened to you, your friends and family would be devatasted. I'm sure your friend aren't sick of you being depressed, they're probably just worried and don't know what to do to help. I often feel the same way, that I'm a burden on everyone around me and it would be better for them if I was dead, but if you ask them they will tell you nothing could be further from the truth. They love and care about you.
I'm so sorry about your gran. *Hugs* is there anyone you can talk to about how you're feeling with the stress and everything and the suicide thoughts? are you getting any help? cos it really sounds like you could use some. There's no shame in it, we all need a little help from time to time. You shouldn't have to go through this alone.
I hope things work out. You have a lot to live for even if you can't see it right now.