all i can think about atm is suicide and i hate it
the more i think about it the worse the thoughts get
and each day gets harder and harder to get through
i dont want to die i just dont want to live this life
all i ever do is let people down and mess things up
i mess everything up
everyone would be better off if i wasnt here
my thoughts scare me
im just ready to give up now
things wont ever get better cus il always be me
a stupid fuckin let-down
Firstly, well done on opening up and starting to talk abit about how you feel. We all know how difficult it is to sometimes say what we are feeling, and ask for some support. But you've done so well, and it's a thing you should feel very proud of =).
Secondly, I'm sure you've let no one down. Sometimes when we're feeling down or upset, these feelings overwhelm us, and stop us seeing the right and positive things in our world. What you are seeing of yourself at the moment is a warped view of reality, which can be caused by a variety of different things. At this point, I am wondering if you have anyone to talk to? For example, a pyschologist, pyschiatrist, counsellor or a therapist? A professional who is helping you through some of the things you are facing at the moment? If not, how would you feel about getting into contact with someone who could help you through some of the emotions you are feeling. And if you do, are they helping you through this stuff? What sort of strategies have you been shown that help you deal with strong emotions and such? Do you feel like they are helping you through this, or do you feel like you don't really have much of a connection, or it's a waste of time?
Really hun, what you are feeling is various serious. Especially if you are considering death as a logical option here. I understand that you may not want to die, but you also do not want to live. And that still must feel just as horrible, and I can assure you is just as serious. Can you share a little more about what's going on? Like, what is causing you to feel the way you do? What's on your mind at the moment? If you don't feel comfortable in sharing this here on the forums, you can also contact The Support Department [link] and leave a message there, Live Help (The button is located in the top left hand corner of the page), or by contacting a telephone organisation, such as the Samaritans.
I am sure you've heard the saying, "Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem". For this moment, I would like for you to really consider this statement. What you are feeling, the causes of your feelings and the thoughts surrounding them, they aren't permanent things in your life. They are things that are going to get better, and go away. You will be able to deal with these things, and you'll have a more positive outlook on life. However, you're going to need to hold on, just for a little bit. Just until you can see yourself and your worth for what it truely is. I understand that it may be hard, but please, hold on. So many people around you would be devestated if something bad happened to you, so many people would say "What could I have done to help?". This can be overcome, hun, it really can.
In the meantime, I suggest you surround yourself with people who love you, who make you smile and who make you laugh. Maybe let them know you're not feeling the best right now, and ask for a little bit more support while your trying to sort things out. You can also try distracting yourself against feelings, and urges you may have to hurt yourself. Check out The Big Distraction List [link], The Fun and Distractions Forum [link], and the new, ultra cool, RYL Games Arcade [link] for some interesting and really cool ways to help distract yourself from the various things going on around your mind. Remember that no matter what, there are also people to support you and care about, here at RYL and in the real world.
Best of luck,
Claire =)
the beauty belongs to the people that follow their dreams
Hey Saz, sorry i had to log off last night, dodgey net and i fell asleep :(
Lots of hugs, it makes me sad that you're thinking like this, and no, that's not your fault either! :)
You're totally NOT a waste of space, i mean, you've talked me down from cutting and being depressed, you've helped me, i *Try* to help you, i'd totally not be better off without you :( I'd be crushed, i'd tell your doctor how you're feeling hun, he'l be able to help you get rid of the horrible urges, so being you, will be good! :) It's worth a try, what've you got to lose? Lots of love x.
On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
I have tried to kill myself (and almost succeeded) and yet now, I'm a happy person, and thinking about death at my age scares me a little.
I know things are hard now, and maybe it feels like there's nothing left to live for or something, but I felt that once.
Now it's two and a half years on and I enjoy life and would never kill myself.
You can't know what the future will bring so how can you know you're ready to die?
PM me if you need to talk to someone.
Take care, please.
Love Rhiannon x
For what it's worth it was worth all the while. I hope you had the time of your life...
I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh; I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry
~ ddoouubbllee lleetttteerr tthhrreeaaddeerr
~ honourary emma
~ honourary katY [Kat*Y* with a *Y* Club]
iv started seeing a psychiatrist and im really hoping he can help me, sometimes though i get paranoid about him viewing me in a negative light or something, and that can make it hard to open up, i dunno.
the more i think about it though the more life seems worthless, i seem worthless. all i seem to think about at the moment is suicide..how can things get better when im always going to be me?
i am a waste of space and im a fuck-up ARGH i get so angry at my self.
the past few nights iv just been distracting myself til im completely shattered but the suicidal urges dont go away, i know exactly what id do, i can even picture it...and it scares me
my heads been in such a mess recently, and as each day passes im finding it harder to cope.
i just cant see how the future can be better...surely its better to end my life now then wait til more people are in my life to be hurt...if thats makes sense.
It gets better. I've been there- I've thought that I was hopeless and hated myself, but it got better. It will get better for you too if you hold on! I promise that even when it doesn't seem like there's hope, there is. You said that you want to end your life before you hurt more people; if you die everyone will hurt. Even people you barely know. I know it doesn't seem like that's true right now, but it is. Please hold on! It will get better, and all of this will pass with time. *cuddles*
The following content has been hidden - Reason : trigger?
I won't be on RYL much right now because I'm REALLY triggered, but I'm safe... so don't worry...
I am so sorry you are feeling so low at the moment. I have been there, there are times that I could've written that exact same thing that you posted, but about myself. You are not alone in this.
Try to keep in mind that these feelings are not real, they are lies that your depression is telling you. Depression often puts a thick layer of fog in front of the truth. You are not letting anybody down, you do not mess things up. And if anybody ever makes you feel this way or tells you that you are, they are wrong.
You are human, you have struggles, you make mistakes. We all do, nobody is perfect. Recognize that you are really a great person, a great person who is going through a very difficult time emotionally right now. Try not to be so hard on yourself, I know it's hard, but really hun, you deserve better than this.
Chin up, things will get better, just keep fighting. We are all here cheering you on and ready to lift you back up when you fall down. My PM box is always open, never hesitate to PM.
Take care,
Jess xx
I wanna stay inside all day
I want the world to go away
Hey there.
I'm sorry to heat that things are pretty tough for you at the moment.
What you're feeling now is certainly something which a lot of members here have felt before, you're not alone. You may think that nothing will, nor can change because you are you, but what can change and make everything better is your mindset. You can change how you look at things.
You're going for help, you have posted on here, you have come to a support site, surely this is something, even if you don't believe it, this is a part of you that doesn't want to end it, this is the part of you that wants to fight this and wants help in order to be happy in the future. Listen to your rational side.
You may think that you mess people around, but these people would much rather have you here and alive than anything else.
Take care of yourself,
Chloe. xx
I can really relate to your post but you're not a let down and people will care if you die. You don't want to die as you said, you just want things to get better, right? well they will. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but I've been there, this week actually and things are getting better for me already and they will for you too. There is so much to live for, sometimes you jsut have to look for it and it might be the little things but they're there. Please don't give up hope, keep fighting and talk to someone about how you're feeling if you can.
thanks everyone for your support, but i realised im fighting a losing battle.
everyone would be far better of if i was dead
i dont want to carry on with this life anymore
these feelings are never going to go away until i end it
im ready to give up, iv got nothing to give to the world, its better for everyone if i wasnt here
i suppose im just a lost cause
im sorry
No one is a lost cause in this world. No one. There are people who care about you and who want you to live and get better! Look at all of these wonderful people that came to your aid when you needed it. You aren't alone in how you feel. I know you feel very alone and very worthless and think that it would be better if you were gone but it isn't true. No matter how bad it gets, there will always be people there that care about you. There is so much to live for, and I know its hard to see that right now because you don't feel like living, but... There is hope. There is light at the end of the tunnel. We all have to find happiness ourselves though. There is only so much that a person can do for another. You have to make the decision, but please know that we are here to help lift you up and to help you along on that higher road. There isn't anything more precious in the world than a human life, and yours is no exception. Please be ok! I am here for you!
I know you're having a really hard time right now, and i know that stupid doctor fobbed you off, but honestly, you're a great, strong and caring person. I, and everyone whom knows you would be devestated if anything happened to you, please take care, i'l always be here to talk to you :)
On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
thanks
its just so hard to keep going when i cant see how things are going to improve. people say things get better, but i just dont think they will
all i keep thinking about is suicide, its on my mind all the time
i know people care about me but i know, even if they dont realise it, that they are all better off without me
my paranoia isnt helping either, i think my doctor thinks im a waste of time, i think people on ryl think im pathetic and stuff (its not wot anyones said its just what my mind says) you are all amazing people on ryl and i shouldnt be wasting your time
each day is getting worse
i took a small od 2day, nothing serious really, but im scared of myself tonight, im scared of what il do
You really aren't a stupid fuck up, dont be so hard on yourself darling. I can relate to how your feeling. You don't actually want to die, but you just dont want to be here living this life. You know things can change. Im sure you are not a fuck up, why do you think this?
I really hope that you are ok and you were able to fight those urges to OD. You are worth so much more than that. Let us all know how you are darlin x x x
[If you think you can win, then you can win. Faith is necessary to victory]
its alright dan, thank you for all your support and im really sorry for everything iv put you through
i am a stupid fuck up i manage to mess up everything in life up
i dont know what to do, im so lost
i hate myself so much, and i hate the way i feel
i fought the urges but they just get stronger, i dont know how long i can keep fighting for and i dont know what to do
its alright dan, thank you for all your support and im really sorry for everything iv put you through
i am a stupid fuck up i manage to mess up everything in life up
i dont know what to do, im so lost
i hate myself so much, and i hate the way i feel
i fought the urges but they just get stronger, i dont know how long i can keep fighting for and i dont know what to do
Saz =)=)=) You've put me through nothing hun xxx.
I love helping you, and you help me, ALOT. You can't see how special you are, but you are xxx.
You're a very strong person, just keep fighting, keep it up, maybe tell your doctor EXACTLY how you're feeling, no one is beyond repair, it just takes time and patience, and i know you've got it xxx. You're going to be happy one day Saz :) Just you wait :) (Talk to you when you get on :) )
On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
I, too, been there and almost done that but I realized just in time that it'd be what you'd call a 'no win' situation: my parents, the few friends and family I have would be devastated and I, I'd be dead and not be able to live thru the bad but also the good times anymore. The Depression tries to tell you otherwise, that you're no good and a fuck up but approaching this in a rational way, where's the proof for that?
