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Triggering (SI/ED) - shut up
sometimes i feel like my whole life depends on other people's pity. like i only get anywhere because people feel sorry for me. i want to cut so much. i want to starve myself into nothingness so much. but when i think about it, all that will do is attract pity i dont want.
i dont trust anyone. ever. there are people who i want to be able to trust so much, but im constantly preparing for them to do something to hurt me.
i hate being so cynical all the time. im sick of always expecting the worst.
am i going to be like this forever, all because in the past ive been hurt one too many times? when you stretch an elastic band too far, almost to breaking point, it never returns to its original shape once it is released.
maybe the same applies to me
or maybe one of the people i want to trust will prove me wrong someday, however long that may take
i feel so lost atm
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