Me and my mother's fighting is getting way worse lately. I'm not sure why, but it's almost unbareable. I started going out for "walks" about a month and a half ago, just to go and sit in a place I can be left alone. When I wasn't out for "walks" I was sleeping. My mother has a problem with that, telling me it isn't "normal" for a 15 year old to be doing that. She doesn't get that I'm trying to be away from her, and to tell her would be mean, even for me. Anyways. Today I got my report card and I have 45% in gym class, which obviously isn't great, and I've got 65%, 66% and 67% in my other classes. My marks are low because I don't have energy to do anything, and frankly they just aren't important to me anymore. My mom started yelling at me and I told her I talked to my teachers about how I can improve, and they weren't worried, so why freak out? But that one fight escalated into fighting about everything else and I hate yelling and fighting, and the only way I can get her to stop yelling at me is to say something really mean, and brutally honest so I told her I don't treat her with respect because she doesn't treat me like a person, and because I don't like her at all. I told her that her constant yelling hurts me and that the reason I want to stay where I live as opposed to moving with her isn't because of my friends, it's because I don't want to live with her. I also said me staying here would make me happy for once. I know some of that sounds harsh, but honestly, getting yelled at everyday has taken it's toll and I can't keep holding everything in. Being around my mom isn't helping me to stop SIing, and it definitely is not holding my mental frame together. There's only so many times you can get blamed for everything. I need to live with somebody else. One of my oldest friends parents is considering letting me live there, but if that falls through is it worth going to the government to seek out foster care?
I would definitely see how things go for staying with your friends family. It would also be worth speaking with a school counsellor or someone similar, and seeing what your other options are.
You are right, you are a person, with feelings, and a right to a place in this world.
good luck, finding somewhere else. i totally know how you feel. i now count my family as my lickle hamster and 2 fishes, my mother doesnt exist to me. i still speak to her now and again but everytime she just upsets me again!
only thing i would say sweetie, if you do get to move out soon, seek some professional help cos unfortunately ive only been out of home for bout 6months and im 24 and im still heavily sh-ing cos thats how ive grown up coping with every situation, pretty much good or bad i dont know how to do it any other way so if your mum is your main cause talk about it to a prof to deal with and try and move on. home that makes sense!!! *squeeze*
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!!
Thanks for the replies guys, your support and advice means the world. I still haven't talked to my friends mom again because she's on vacation for another week. I guess in summary to all of our posts alike, parents are really a huge influence in our lives, and if they're not the greatest, or have problems they take out on us, it effects us the most. I guess kids are the weakest out there, so we're all easy targets. I wish things were different.
Funny thing is though, if my mom yells at me to the point of almost crying (which is a huge deal, cause I usually don't cry) she'll apoligize like the day after expecting everything to be okay. I HATE that. Or if I yell back louder than her (sometimes it comes out as just a scream so she'll stop yelling) she hits me, and then tells me that it was just a shove. She doesn't do that often, only when I really push it. I guess I probably deserve to be "shoved", I'm not the greatest kid out there.
i'm sorry things are so hard for you atm. *hugs* no one deserves to be hit or shoved though and it can be abuse. i hope you can stay at your friends house, even if its just for a little while. it doesnt sound good that your mom hits you then tries to deny it. maybe some space would be good for both of you.
let us know how everyone thing goes. *hugs*
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!! 
