doctor's appt tomorrow *updated*

[sparkle.]

hey,

In August last year my GP diagnosed me with Depression and I saw him for quite a while and tried a few different anti-depressants, which didn't work.
Then I stopped seeing him after my counsellor informed him about a small overdose I took, as I got scared about how serious things were getting.

I started seeing him again in March this year after my counsellor faxed him, without my consent, telling him about my 'suicidal thoughts & ideation'. So I've been back seeing him and he put me on Valium for a week which really helped but I wasn't allowed it any longer because he didn't want me to become addicted. Then we were going to try beta-blockers to help with my anxiety, but I didn't take them, and most recently he just gave me some sleeping pills and ordered some blood tests. Which I haven't gone for and I haven't been taking the pills because they made me feel weird the next day.

Last time I saw him he kept asking me to think about letting him refer me to a Psychiatrist, but I don't know, I'm really scared/anxious about that?
But things haven't got any better, and problems I have with eating are still not good.

I have an appointment to see him tomorrow morning and I just don't know what to say or do. It's difficult because I haven't told any of my family, though they suspect a lot re the eating, and only a few close friends know. But I'm really struggling at the moment especially with college and exams coming up, and I'm not seeing my counsellor anymore.

I just don't know what to say tomorrow?
I always pretend to him that things aren't as bad as they are, and he knows I'm lying but tries not to push me.

Thanks for reading, sorry it got long

xx

[I wasn't sure whether to put this in Serious or here...]

[Shenanigans]

Hi hunny,
I'm so sorry things have been so difficult lately, *big cuddles for you*
I understand how you pretend that things are better than they are, I do this too (ALOT!!), but the only person who you are hurting in the long run by doing this, is yourself.
When I know that I'm going to do that, I write everything out in a letter to my GP explaining everything. That way you don't pretned that things are better and also your GP will know everything that is going on and will do their best to try and help you with that. I often get stuck for what to say, and I actually use alot of posts I make on RYL and also things I have said to close friends as sort of starting points and work from there.
I understand how nervous you are about seeing a psychiatrist, but as you aren't seeing your councelor anymore do you think that the added support (especially dring your exams) would help?
I hope things go well, whatever you decide hun, but please remember that your GP isn't there to judge you, they are there to help you through this tough time as best they can. Try and let them into what's going on hun.
*more cuddles*
take care of yourself, update on how it goes?
xxxxxxxx

[Stellata]

Try and be as honest as you can. That can only help.

I was referred to a psychiatrist to get my medication sorted out, and I was discharged once I stabilised on them. It can be scary, but usually isn't half as bad as you imagine - especially if you're prone to anxiety!

[The Midnight Crazies]

I don't like how your counselor faxed him without informing you in advance. Therapists treat you like you're a lil child usually, ugh.

Marte

[sparkle.]

thank you for replies xxx

Part of me really does want to agree to see a psychiatrist but it just scares me too much.
I would try and write it down...but I don't know where to start, what to say and what not to. Also, the very first time I saw him I had written it down and felt really silly? giving it to him to read.

Marte, my counsellor e-mailed me and said she was going to have to fax my doctor, after having spoken to her supervisor about me. Then I met with her on the day she sent it but I didn't have any choice in it and didn't see what she wrote until after it'd gone :\ I would never have given my permission for it so I guess she felt she just had to. It really upset me though.

x

[sparkle.]

Update:
I went and he's put me on 50mg Sertraline, and I said he can refer me to a Psychiatrist. So I'm going to wait for that to come through and then see what happens thanks for the support xx