I'm 19. I've started seeing a guy who's 35. A lot of people are being really critical of that and it makes me really unhappy and even more angry. I really like him and he makes me happy...although we've only been out once or twice and we don't know each other properly yet, I think this could turn into the relationship I need to help me get better.
Is a 16 year age gap too much? Some people who were ok with it said that I was mature enough to be in a relationship like this...what does everyone think?
**** 'em love, you're an adult and he's an adult, it's nobody else's business - and if they make it so, that's THEIR problem.
You like him, he makes you happy - that's the most important thing right? Don't let what other people say influence you, if you're happy and comfortable that's what matters and they should be happy for you.
Good luck, :) I hope it goes well for you.
Hunger only for a taste of justice, hunger only for a world of truth, for all that you have is your soul.
Go for it! Im infamous for seeing older people and to be honest, it doesnt bother me. If you're happy, then try it. It may work, it might not, but unless you go for it then you wont know :)
I understand you feel. My age gap with my bf is much larger- 29 years :p.you are an adult and there is nothing wrong with being together.
You may find a difference in maturity, where you are in life etc when you get to know each other better.The age gap can sometimes make no difference at all.I am not trying to tell you it wont work out or anything like that.
Age is meaningless (at least when you're 18+) so never mind what other people are saying and go for it. They're probably just concerned that he's taking advantage of you or something, but you're old enough to know for yourself :)
So long as you're happy and all good, just concentrate on enjoying yourself and see how it goes.
Take care
xo
I'm with someone 23 years older than me - anything more than 10 years sounds like a huge difference but in reality if you both like each other & you both get on & have things in common then it doesn't matter what other people think.
I act a lot older than my age & my partner acts a lot younger than her age so we 'meet in the middle'.
It does get tricky with small minded people judging you on the age difference but if you can survive the criticisms between you then you'll know that 'he's the one'
Good luck with it all & I really hope no one judges you too harshly - & if they do they aint worth knowing!
hey, I was 17 when I met my current boyf, he was 25 and 8yrs might not sound like a lot but we got a hell of a lot of hardship and it did test our relationship but we got there in the end and we are 6years together this june. been through a lot of crap from people, everyone in our business for the first few years and we still get the odd person saying " wow...thats a bit of a age gap" but the way we see it, we are so happy with each other, we get on so well, have so much in common and are really in love and I think as long as you have that with someone... screw everyone else and der opinions!
Age gaps mean nothing pretty much.
As long as you're happy go for it.
Biggest age gap I'm willing to go for is only 3 years but that's because I'm suspicious of anyone older than that that wants to hang out with 15 year olds because clearly they should be out doing more grown-up stuff.
But I disagree with the "as long as you're both over 18" thing...because I have friends who are 18 and I sit there going "what the hell are you doing with your life?" about them an awful lot...they are pathetically immature.
I'd say as long as you're legal and happy.
Age means nothing so long as you're happy... but just be careful and make sure you find out as much about him as you can. My ex was 16 years older than me, and to start with things were alright, but the longer we were together, the more the age gap got in the way. Just use your common sense, and it will be alright.
As long as your happy then it's all good! You might go on more dates and realise he isn't the one for you, but that's your decision!
Some people find it strange that my boy is 7 years older than me, but it's hardly anything!
There's almost 15 years between my mum and dad too.
Ali xox
With demons dancing off mirror images reflecting all that you wanted.
So far from perfect, onward we will strive.
Take it for what it's worth, this truth that you've realized.
You're not who you thought you were, it's time to see the other side of what you have become.
As long as it's a healthy realtionship and you are both happy, I say go for it! My friend's parents are 27 years apart and they have an amazing relationship!
I really hope you guys are happy together<3
It's the children the world almost breaks that grow up to save it.
-Frank Warren
Anyway, back on topic. Go for it. My last relationship was with someone 18 years older than me, and it was ****ing amazing. He's still a really good friend of mine.
Last edited by craola : 22-04-2008 at 09:11 AM.
Reason: Removed references to deleted post.
I don't think age should be an issue as longs your both legal, as you are. Don't listen to other people, they're either jealous, ignorant or both.
Hope it works out for you.
x
I love Alcohol Induced Altruism(Laura) I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence - Doug McLeod Those who believe in absurdities will commit atrocities - Voltaire
when you turn 18 your an adult, you can make your choices.
Old greg, you shouldnt assume things unless you know all the facts, if they are happy together whats wrong with that? its not like anyone is underage here, and at 18 you can go make your own choices.
If your happy then that all that matters
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I don't see anything wrong with it. I've been out with someone 7 years older than me and we got a lot of stick for it but it didn't bother us. My mum's ex was 18 years older than her and I didn't like that, I think it was more him than the age gap though!
As long as you get on, get to know each other well and like each other then I don't see the problem. I've never said I wont go out with someone x years older than me coz for me it's about the person and not his age.
My boyfriend is only 5 years older than me but still one of his mates gives us alot of stick for it (I'm 20 he's 25) and I really don't see why.
I think alot of people are ignorant and closed minded when it comes to things like this and therefore there opinons deserve to be ignored.
Old Greg - I think what you said was too harsh. I agree with you in the respect that I think 23 and 29 years is a big age gap and does sound wrong but until you know the people involved in the relationship I don't think you can judge them like that. For all you know they could be 30something and the guy 50-60 then neither of them are kids and I doubt they are being taken advantage of!!!!
Why does a very small (but vocal) minority of members have such difficulty grasping the fact that this is a Support Community?
The expression here of bigoted and hateful opinions is no less harmful when it concens matters of age, than if a racist or a homophobe was expressing disgust at someone's relationship.
To the original poster: Good luck in finding happiness in a relationship. Don't let the blind hatred of ignorant individuals stop you from seeking this with whomever you wish. It's great to love and be loved. Obviously, the prejudices of others may make certain relationships difficult, but i don't see that as a good reason to stop being with someone who makes you happy.
This thread is getting extremely heated. Please refrain from flaming and upsetting other members. If you cannot reply to this thread without perpetuating the arguement or insulting another member I suggest you stay out of the thread altogether.
