Hate her

Fée Noire · 18-04-2008, 01:41 PM

I hate my mum! She went to see a psychiatrist today. Apparently she told him the only reason she doesn't kill herself is Yameen and Azeem (my nephews). Forget her 3 daughters, we don't count for anything. I'm sick of meaning nothing to her. Whenever she calls my house it's never ever to talk to me, it's always to talk to steve (my godfather). I hate her. She always makes me feel like i'm nothing.

Last year she took an OD and said it was because of me, cause i'm a bitch. Now she's hinted to steve that the only reason she took the OD was so she'd get DLA. It was just a plan of hers to get more money, forget how much it hurt me. Forget that i was crying on the phone to the ambulance people cause they couldn't find her. Forget that if she'd died i would have blamed myself for the rest of my life. I don't mean anything to her.

blondiebear · 18-04-2008, 03:56 PM

Does she treat your sisters this way? As difficult as it may seem, you may have to accept that you won't have a normal loving relationship with her.
Hugs

Fée Noire · 18-04-2008, 03:59 PM

She does treat my sisters like this too. She randomly disowns us. She plays us off against each other. I think i'm coming to terms with the fact that i won't have a relationship with her. This time last year i loved her, and i put up with her treating me like this. Now i hate her and i can't bare to be around her. I'm moving soon and i plan to never tell her where i am and send her a letter telling her how she makes me feel.

It just hurts sometimes that she doesn't love me.

blondiebear · 19-04-2008, 03:00 AM

I know how bad it hurts. And it is supposed to be the first and when you are a child the safest relationship. It is awful.

chocostashchick · 21-04-2008, 02:51 AM

okay that's awful
i am so sorry honey
i think this is your mom's mistake, that it has nothing to do with either you or your sisters or your nephews though, and that it is all to do with your mother
i dont know what her issue is, but the thing with parents is that they are all human, so they all make mistakes and have their own issues, but unfortunately all parents also have children and their issues affect the innocent kids
and you are one of those innocent kids bearing the load of her mother's mistakes
but please know it has NOTHING to do with you
it isnt your fault and it's really your mother's loss because she is now going to forever have a damaged relationship with you and she will miss out on getting to have a great relationship with an awesome daughter
please update and let us know how you are
xxxooo