Triggering (SI) - I Cant stop

cutter4life · 18-04-2008, 01:48 AM

so the longest i have ever gone without cutting is a month. Then i go straight back. Some times i do it really bad, where it bleeds for hours. Yesterday i cut. But only one cut across my thigh. My mom and i where arguing. my house is always crazy. when that happens instead of yelling back i end up cutting my skin to shreds. i feel like deep inside me i want to stop. Because of every thing that has gone down. with parents and stuff. But at the same time i love the feeling, where i just cant stop.

All I'm Living For · 18-04-2008, 02:49 AM

*hugs* im sorry you're going through a rough time atm. i really hope things get better soon. but the fact that you can go for even just a month without cutting is good. even if you do end up slipping up. some people cant go that far.
have you tried to get some help (psyc, counsellor) to help you to stop? if you have that support it can make it a bit easier..
take carea nd feel free to pm me.

soph.

klo_flo · 18-04-2008, 03:57 PM

Hey,

It sounds as though you're feeling really torn. SI can have an addictive aspect to it and it doesn't sounds as though it's really doing anything for you at the moment.

You explained your situation and said that deep inside of you, you want to stop. This is something that is possible, somethign that takes will power and is often best with some sort of support. Do you have anyone you feel able to talk to?

Chloe x

Cazki · 18-04-2008, 09:56 PM

Hello there *Cuddles you* Im really sorry that things are so tough for you right now. A month with out self harm is excellent! Im extremly proud of you for that. Self harm is extremly addictive which is why its extremly difficult to give up, its not one of those things that you can stop just like that, it takes alot of time, support and will power. Do you have any support at all such as counselling? Its not impossible to stop harming yourself. But i think the best way to tackle this is to some extra support.

The easiest way to get yourself some extra support is by talking to your doctor, and if you dont feel that you would be able to talk to your doctor face to face. What you could do is write down what it is that you want to say and give it to your doctor, that way you dont have to worry about feeling silly when you dont know what to say to your doctor.

Do you have anyone close to you that knows your struggling that you could confide in? Another thing that is important is that if you slip up its not the end, your not back to square one, we all have slip ups but it doesnt mean that you have failed and that you should just give up on recovering. Take things in small steps, a day at a times. Try not to be to hard on yourself as this will just make things more difficult and can add to your problems. Please keep talking to us.

Take care best wishes Ian xxxxx

cutter4life · 20-04-2008, 04:29 AM

so i have talked to therapist. i have a counselor. i don't like her though. i have been to 3 mental hospitals people have tried helping me. i guess i just don't grasp it. this is the most i have ever talked about the subject. i don't like to talk to other people because any time i feel like i want to talk about it. the person i tell betray me and tell my mother or counselor and i end up in the hospital and I'm tired of going. its a waist of time if there not helping me.