I was looking forward to my support worker coming back to work because she's really nice but today in group she said my current support worker will be carrying on working with me, and because "I get on well" with her that she doesnt want to disturb my routine, or something to that effect. But the last time I saw my current support worker she said she didn't know whether she would be seeing me again because they might not keep her on. So I'm scared I'm going to end up without anything. I went on the bus for the first time in a year on Monday and I was freaking out by the end and I had a really bad stress headache because of it. I can hardly do things like get on public transport and eat in public and buy stuff at shops and they might make me go without help with that so I'm really scared.
The thing with my mam was nothing really. She told me to do something while I was in the middle of typing something and I said "hang on" and she asked me again. I did the thing she wanted me to do and then I came back in the room and she said I was being "mean", which I suppose I was because I was in a kind of a pout (teen hormones!).
The only reason I dont want to hurt myself is because I havent done it in so long and I dont want to upset my family, or go back down that road because I know where it leads. Otherwise I would still be cutting.
Hmm...
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