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Triggering (Suicide/Sexual Abuse) - My Stalkish Ex
When my ex and I broke up, I thought the feelings were mutual. I wanted to break up and so did he.
Then about a month or so later, he attemps to kill himself over me. He even calls my mom's cellphone to let her know he's going to die. He called my cellphone and left a voice message that he wanted to die.
I didn't want him to die, so my mom and I did the right think (or so we thought). We called the police. They found him in his closet. They sent him to the hospital to get some help.
I actually worried about him. I did care that he wanted to die. I wanted to get him help.
But then...
he starts making posts online, calling my mom and the "c" word cause now he has to pay thousands of dollars in hospital bills. He starts calling me a whore, and saying how I can find love at any corner.
But you know what?
I thought I was in love with him. We got into fights and I was the one that automatically apologized and got us back together. I wanted to be with him. I thought he could be the one. But after some time... I saw how miserable I was.
After he attempted to rape me while I was passed out drunk... I knew it was going downhill. I couldn't see myself with him anymore. Around the holidays, I wanted to be happy. I wanted him to get to know my family. But he spent his time, feeling sorry for himself, being angry and getting high.
After we broke up, my co-worker asked me out on a date about a week later. I thought, why not? I wasn't in love with my ex anymore, and what's holding me back from having a good time?
And then... I had a great time. My co-worker was so sweet and funny. I had so much fun! We went on more dates. My ex found out and got pissed. Then started e-mailing me about two to three times a day. One day, he showed up at my house twice.
He wanted me back. I thought, maybe I could give him one more chance... but when I looked back at all our other fights. We would fight, break up for a day, then get back together the next day.
He said he would change, but never did. I was sick of cutting myself over him. I was sick of getting upset over what he did to me.
So I finally gave him an answer... that there could be no us.
Now he signs onto AOL messenger, changing his "status" and posting negative things about me. I decided, why not fight fire with fire, and I called him a fag under my status.
I leave for the night and come back and there's a huge rant of how he hates me and wishes me to die and how much he loves me and how he'll kick my new boyfriend's (the co-worker) ass.
I seriously doubt he could.
He's in Germany for one thing.
Second, if he tried anything, my boyfriend is Irish. He has a baseball bat and plenty of friends who'd tear him to pieces.
So I don't fear him.
I don't fear his threats either. Cause I know in time... maybe he'll actually mature. Maybe he'll actually find someone in Germany.
But he acts like he'll never get over me. He keeps saying he loves me and that I'm his one and only. I want him to leave me alone. I hope he doesn't come back to the states for a looooooooooooooooooong time.
I'm happy with my new boyfriend.
For once, I actually feel like I'm in LOVE. He doesn't make me have the urge to cut myself. He doesn't make me feel stupid or unattractive. He actually listens to me when I have a problem and he doesn't burden me with all his bullshit.
He also TRIES at things. He doesn't give up. He is willing to do anything for the ones he cares about. He's willing to do things for ME. I never had someone so thoughtful and considerate of me before. He's everything I ever wanted in a boyfriend. He's so much better than my ex.
I'm so greatful to be out of that relationship.
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